Hummus is all I have left...

I think I am under spiritual attack. The second I get any sort of confirmation from God, or any time I make a promise to God, I get flooded with doubt and sadness and worry and rejection. Maybe it is just because I am on my period, but I am getting so offended by everyone. And we keep learning about having an unoffended heart and that other people's opinions don't matter, only God's does. But how do you get rid of the feeling of rejection when you get left out of something. As much as I rebuke the spirit of rejection, I still feel rejected and retreat to my room by myself, probably worsening the situation. Maybe it's just because I am on my period. I hope that is all that is going on.

We fasted for our home countries this morning, until lunch. During the prayer all of us Canadians gathered together in one corner. We were praying and such, and then we felt like we needed to sing the anthem. So we had a discussion on whether or not it would be rude to sing the anthem and disrupt the other countries prayer. We decided to go outside to sing it just incase. Then we came back in and started praying and the Kiwis started singing their anthem nice and loud. Oh man, we are such typical Canadians worrying about being polite all the time.

During the lecture this morning, we went through our family trees and tried to identify any curses over the family or any other religions. The only real issue in my family is on my dad's side. All of the women have mental illness, including myself, all the way back to my great grandma (and maybe further I don't know). That part of the family is from Ireland and England and there is a lot of witchcraft and freemasonry in the history of those countries. The relatives that I know of were all Catholic, but maybe farther back there could have been a 'curse' or something. So we broke that off today. Woot Woot. 

Also, Beryl keeps telling me that I should take my nose rings out. Apparently in Hindu culture piercings in different places can symbolize worship to different gods. The one in the nose means worship of the god of death and destruction - Sheba? I think. Creepy. Who would worship a god of death and destruction? That just seems silly. I hope that Sheba doesn't think I am worshipping her. Since I have two does it make it doubly bad? I need to pray over this and decide if I want to take them out... But apparently having piercings can be a spiritual block. So, Beryl says that if I take them out I my spiritual gifts would be so much stronger, and I might get the gift of tongues. Hmm... Kinda sounds weird to me, but we'll see.

I'm in a bad mood. I can't write anymore right now. Good night!