Burglar attack!

This morning when I got to the A-frame, Rich informed me that the lecture room had been burgled and that everything had been taken - the two expensive guitars that the base owns, the computer, the projector, etc. And everyone had to wait outside until the cops came to investigate and take finger prints and stuff. So everyone was a bit upset.. Noemi had left her iPhone in the lecture room overnight and was crying (haha so cute, Noemi would cry!! - Love you Nomes). Matt was worried that his guitar had been stolen. Kat was just relieved that no one was hurt... Anyways, Miranda got us all together to pray blessings over the burglars and ask for protection over the base.

Then the staff came out of the building dressed up all fancy...

They got us good. They had prepared a fancy breakfast for us! We came into the A-frame and there were table cloths on the tables and the tables were set all fancy with our names on our places. The staff came around with juice and coffee and pancakes and bacon and hash browns and there was fresh fruit and yogurt and stuff... so awesome! They even made me gluten/egg/dairy free pancakes! You have no idea how excited I was! Oh man, I was so glad to finally eat something yummy! And they made me a piece of salmon with honey on it, because they wanted me to have some protein! How sweet! And it was SO GOOD! And I have decided that Sean should be a waiter in real life. He was so pleasant and polite. I didn't know that he could be either of those things. Just kidding Sean! You are so awesome and polite and pleasant!

We learned lots more about spiritual warfare this morning too. We learned about the manifestations of spirits; they can come in the form of jealousy, depression, lying, pride, perversion, dead people, and immorality. There are lots of weapons that Christians can use against these things, like prayer, fasting, praise and worship (of God), the Word, the Armour of God, resistance of the enemy through speech, faith, the name of Jesus Christ, and communion.

There are three levels of Satan's influence:

1. General Warfare Against the Believer: Temptation (Matthew 4: 1): enticement or compulsion from an external source to violate God's law. The solution is resistance.
2. Specific Bondage and Demonisation: Oppression (Acts 10: 38): persistent on going bondage, affliction of body or soul that may be outward (vexation) or inward (demonization). The solution is deliverance.
3. Deception and Bondage of Unbelievers: Control (1 John 5: 19): dominance of soul by Satan, either generally (covertly) through deception and disobedience or specifically (overtly) through direct control of evil spirits. The solution is repentance and salvation.

It is interesting that the week that I am learning about spiritual warfare is the one that I start experiencing it too. Last week on Thursday, after the Sean Feucht worship session thinger, I was praying during the van ride back home and I told God that I was all in. I told Him that I will give up everything that he asks me to forgive and I will follow Him to the ends of the earth. I was feeling so good and sure of everything.

On Sunday, I talked to my Mom on skype. It was SO NICE to see her and talk to her (and my dad and sister too!)! But she was worried for me and thought that YWAM might be a cult or something and she was scared that I was never coming home. She told me about some of her worries and the potential ways that I could be being brainwashed. I told her not to worry, that I still have my super critical and analytical neuroscience brain and that I over analyze everything way too much to ever be brainwashed.

But her words planted a seed of doubt in me. I started to question everything that I have been doing. I started wondering if I have maybe opened myself up to something that is not of God by letting these people pray over me. And I have been analyzing and questioning everything anyone tells me and wondering if it is truly from God. And as soon as these doubts came into my mind, I started doubting myself and everyone around me. I let the spirit of rejection overtake me and I started to feel like no body liked me and that everyone was just putting up with me because they had to because they are stuck with me. And I got really insecure about my music, about my abilities in singing and playing guitar and in song writing. And I got really angry. And I tried to isolate myself from everyone as much as possible.

Today was the worst. Hannah D asked me what was wrong and I told her and she tried to encourage me, but I have so much trouble trusting people and believing their words that I just got angry at her. She was holding my hands and I broke away from her and told her to leave me alone. Oh man. Who am I? (I feel like I owe a lot of people an apology - I think Rebekah said hi to me and told me I look nice today numerous times and I basically ignored her... I'm Sorry!)

Anyways, I spent most of the rest of the day doing chores mostly by myself, and hanging out in my room by myself. Doing the usual stuff that I do when I'm alone, like pout. And I was so worked up and angry that I was on the verge of tears and I was so mad that I didn't even want to help myself and I didn't even want to try to feel better.

Josh Kinkenberg was the speaker at open meeting tonight, so he brought his worship team and they did a small worship time to open things up, and Josh did his talk on the presence of the kingdom of heaven in us, NOW. Basically, to sum it up he said that you have to go after God and go after your gifts as though you have already been given them, and then you will have them. Awesome. Sounds easy enough... maybe...

After the talk he got everyone to make a line and him and his team would pray for each person individually. Sweet! I love being prayed for... except I was in a super bad mood. So I went at the end of the line away from all the other students so I could sulk alone and hope that I would get some good prayers to cheer me up a bit. Well. I got majorly hit with MORE prophesies. Oh man. It seems like every time I go for ministry I get prophesied over. Craziness. Maybe God is trying to tell me something... Geeze.

The first girl that prayed for me prayed blessings over me and prayed for the gift of healing for me. Then she told me that I have powerful words and that I often think that people don't hear me, but they do. And she told me that God speaks to me SO MUCH! Like, he is constantly speaking to me. And He wants me to just realize that it is Him and stop second guessing myself. Then she looked at me and said that she feels like I have a really powerful testimony and that it will change people's lives. Woah. More confirmation over the woman at the well prophesy from week one. Cool.

The next lady that prayed for me was Josh's wife. She told me I was beautiful. Awe. And then right away she said that I am really artistic and that I have a gift of prophetic art. She says that God talks to me so much and that I have the ability to convey that to people through painting, writing and music. She said that I will prophesy over people and nations with my art. Cool! (Earlier today I had asked God for confirmation that I should keep on playing music and writing songs. I was feeling really discouraged and like I was no good at it and that I should quit now, so I told Him if he didn't send me a sign that I would quit. Well, I guess I can't quit now, can I?)

Then, God saved the best for last, Josh said that he can see that I am very discerning (everyone has been telling me this!), and that I can really see what is on people's hearts. He said that I have a gift for encouraging people and for speaking truth to people (Hannah R told me this last week). He said that my words have so much influence and that people really listen when I speak (everyone keeps telling me this too). He said that when I speak one word of encouragement to someone, it is equivalent to when 100 people speak that one word to them. My words just have so much impact and people believe what I say. But on the flip side, when I speak negative words on people it has a huge impact as well. So I need to be careful. The enemy wants me on his team because I would be able to bring so many people down. So I need to really be careful and be aware of my words. There is an assignment on my life to get me to stop speaking words of encouragement, so the enemy is using rejection to get me to stop. He is trying to get me so offended that I won't encourage anyone anymore. Woah. That is totally what happened to me TODAY. Crazy. There is definitely a spiritual war going on. Creepy....