Finally Time to Relax and Think!

Honour

1. To hold in respect or esteem

2. To show courteous behaviour towards

3. The idea that something or someone is to be prized or cherished

Honour is an important part of any relationship. God has three types of honour:

1. He gives honour to ALL people because they are made in His image.

2. He gives honour to people due to character

3. He gives honour to people due to performance

In western society today though, honour is conditional on performance. It is engrained in us from an early age that in order to receive honour you have to achieve something or be the best at something in order to deserve honour. In school, you are rewarded with honour for getting good grades and if you fail an exam, you will not receive honour. It is the same in sports. Teams don't get celebrated for participating, they get celebrated for winning. But the cool thing about God is that he will still honour us if we get an F on a paper and he will still honour us if we come in last in a sports tournament. He will give us honour because we deserve honour for being who we are - for being made in his image. And He showed us honour through sending his Son to die on the cross, and He invites us to reign with Him in his kingdom. Cool!

Since this is God's attitude towards us, this should be our attitude towards others in relationships. And once we start to honour one another, love will grow. Love is a funny thing. It is hard to love someone if you do not like them or if you are jealous of them. But if you look past your dislike and affirm them or encourage them in who they are, you will start to like them and they might affirm you in return. It changes the whole relationship. It is the same if you are jealous of someone. Maybe you are a superhero and your super power is flying, and there is another superhero that has the SAME super power as you, but they can fly faster and higher than you. So you don't like them. You are jealous of them and wish that you were faster than them. So you don't talk to them or avoid the and try to beat them. But if you look past that and say "Hey, you are a really fast flyer" to them and affirm their abilities, they will see the change in your attitude and treat you nicely too and maybe you could fight crime together!

Effective apologizing is also important in relationships. Because where unforgiveness exists, bitterness can grow and break down love. There are six steps to an effective apology:

1. I did it.

2. I was wrong when I did ____.

3. I am sorry for doing _____. I am embarrassed for doing _____.

4. Will you forgive me for _____?

5. Will you hold me accountable not to do this again?

6. Is there anything else that you would like to say, or anything else that I have done to hurt you?

This is a hard thing to do. You really have to humble yourself in order to take responsibility and admit that you are wrong. But if you do this, it is likely that the other person will apologize for their part in the situation too or for other things. And you can just have a big apology party and then love each other!

Josh has been so awesome this week! I am kind of sad actually because I was really closed off on Monday and Tuesday and didn't really get super into his teachings because of my conflicted feelings from last week. I realized that last week made me completely question YWAM in general! And I am afraid that I might have portrayed YWAM in a negative light through my blogs last week. I just want everyone to know that YWAM is awesome and that all of the information and opinions that I write in this blog are just my opinions. No one should be taking what I say as being 'right' or 'wrong' I think that everyone needs to seek out knowledge from different sources and form their own opinions. 

Religion is such a sensitive and controversial topic and people can become easily offended when their beliefs are questioned. I always question everything. During my education at University, I was trained to critically read articles and to find every single thing that could possibly be wrong with an experiment in order to discredit it's significance. So, I automatically do that with most things that I learn. And I think that I did that last week. I found one fault in the teachings of the week and discredited everything. And I was wrong to do that.

I think the thing that got me so confused last week was the piercing thing. I read the verse that is the only 'evidence' against piercings in the bible. It says not to cut yourself for the dead. And taken in context, it really does not mean that God does not allow His children to pierce their bodies. When Beryl told me that I should take my nose rings out because the bible says that you should not pierce your body, I did/do not agree with that reasoning. 

But I still wanted more information on piercings and whether or not it is christian to get one. So I got a book from Carly that talks a bit about why piercings are not OK. It basically gave a bunch of statistics stating that youth with piercings tend to do drugs and have sex more than youth without piercings. Now, this is definitely true. But, the book was arguing that it is the piercings that are causing the risky behaviors in these youth. One of the major things that I learned in University is that correlation is not causation in research and statistics. So if piercings and risky behaviors are correlated, that does not necessarily mean that piercings cause those behaviors. It is actually more likely that participation in those risky behaviours and hanging out with certain risk-taking groups of people can lead to piercing of body parts. But that is just my opinion, more research is needed in order to conclude that. 

So, anyways, I did not agree with what this book was saying either. So I extrapolated the fact that I did not agree with this one thing that Beryl taught, to automatically thinking "If she is wrong about this, then she must be wrong about everything else." And I shouldn't have done that. I had a really good chat with Johanna last night and she explained a lot of the stuff from last week that I didn't understand. She made it practical and relevant to my life. And explained in a different way, family curses that are passed through generations and evil spirits and angels are not as creepy as I first concluded. And I definately want to know more about them.

And as for piercings, despite what the bible may or may not say, in other cultures piercings can symbolized worship to certain non-christian gods. This is especially the case in India. So, if a person is to be a missionary in India, then it will be harder for them to evangelize to the people there if they are wearing a symbol of worship to a Hindu god. This totally makes sense, and is totally true. I definitely agree with this, and I think that that is part of what Beryl was teaching. So, if I was to go to India to spread the message of the gospel, I would totally take my nose rings out. But I will most likely be going back to Canada where this is irrelevant because the culture in Canada is different from that in India. 

A person also needs to evaluate their motivation for getting the piercing. If the piercing was done out of rebellion, then it is a mark of rebellion on your body. This is perhaps a reason that a piercing should be taken out. And if a piercing is part of your 'identity' then you should probably take it out too because that is not healthy. 

But, what I am trying to do is to base my decisions and opinions off of what is stated in the bible. And if it is not in there, then the only 'person' who can tell me differently is Jesus himself. I am not leaving my nose rings in out of rebellion because someone told me that I should take them out. I am leaving them in because I genuinely believe that God is not offended by me having them, and that He is not holding anything back from me because I have them. 

I guess I just want all of the readers of this blog to understand that YWAM is a great organization, and that the leadership at my base in particular is amazing. Beryl is such an inspiration and such an amazing lady. I have nothing against her at all! And I totally respect everything that she says, and I have it all put away in my brain so that I can build on it and learn more about it so that I can form a solid opinion in the future. If she flat out told me to take my nose rings out or else leave, I might leave (Hahaha Kidding!!! But I might secretly wear them at night so my holes don't grow in). But if she flat out told me not to do yoga anywhere near her or the base I would totally respect that. 

I really don't want to offend anyone. This blog is basically my diary, so it is filled with my feelings and my opinions. There are some things I agree with and some things that I don't, but I am always open to learning more and potentially changing my stance in the future. I actually love it when people don't agree with my ideas or my views on issues because it challenges me and pushes me to seek out more knowledge. And I don't get offended. I know that I have some pretty firm and pretty liberal beliefs and that most christians think that I am soooooo wrong. For example, I am a scientist and a firm believer in evolution. And I would even go as far as to say that the bible supports the theory of evolution. But I know that most Christians think that I am way out to lunch and they will usually argue with me on it and tell me that I am wrong. And that is totally and wonderfully OK. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion! So yeah, I should add a read-at-your-own-risk disclaimer on my blog!!! I am so sorry if anyone has been offended, and please send me a comment or a facebook message if you have anything to say to me!!!

So anyways, the sun is shining and it is a beautiful afternoon and most people are off volunteering at the 'Light Party', so I get to have some Jesus time! Pce out y'all!

Gas Giant

I am a gas giant. I am Saturn. I am large. I am mostly gas these days. And I have a donut around my waist. True story. I don't understand my digestive system issues these days. I am actually so annoyed with it. It is not fun constantly having to fart or burp. You have to inconspicuously let them out at opportune moments, so you find yourself wasting your life contemplating the next appropriate time to let out a silent but deadly one. The best times are when you are outside because the smell dilutes quickly and is carried away by the wind. Another good place is in the kitchen because the ovens are loud and usually the smell of food can overpower the smell of farts. The worst times are when you are in Marit, Hannah and Noemi's room (with Kat) and there is no music and you let one rip because you think it will be silent, but then it is not silent at all and everyone stares at you. I do not envy Saturn. I bet all the other planets think Saturn is so rude and stinky.

Today was pretty uneventful. Josh cole was awesome. He talked about forgiveness and grace and love and such things. It was pretty cool. After reading 1 Corinthians 13: 1-3, I realized that I have nothing. It says "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If i give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." Hm. Ok. So I need love over all things. Ok. Cool. Then comes the kicker. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 says "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." Hm. I am not patient. I am sometimes not kind. I am envious. I can be proud. I can be rude. I self-seek. I generally can become angry. And I generally don't forget when people wrong me. Hm. That sucks.

Chew on that for a while.

Outreach Team Profile

My outreach team is Fiji 1!!! This is a little bit about who we are and what we will be doing so that you can start to pray for our outreach!!!

Who?

Leaders:

Dave Remus

Dave is from Kitchener, Ontario, Canada. He is 19 years old and has the beginnings of a beautiful mullet. Dave is the Rock of the team.

Sarah Lowe

Sarah is from San Diego, California, USA. She is 26 years old and has the most beautiful singing voice ever. She is gonna be our mamma on outreach. I am super excited that I get to be on her team!!!

Aleisha McIennan

Leish is a Kiwi from Wallacetown, New Zealand. She is 19 years old and has a really thick accent. She will be our comic relief.. if we can understand what she says. She recently broke her had by punching the ground... don't ask... 

Students:

Steph Reynolds

I am from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Some people call me the veggie queen. I am one of the two people that are over 5'5 feet tall on our team. And I sweat a lot so I feel really bad for my team while we are in Fiji.

Hannah Douglas

Hannah is from Franklin, Tennessee, USA. She is 19 years old and is my new little sister. She is going to be a famous singer one day because she has insane pipes. And she is always happy and affectionate  but in a pleasant way that doesn't annoy me! I love her!

Jacob McCormack

Jacob is from Portland, Oregon, USA. He is 20 and is God's personal pianist. Jacob is a man after my own heart because he has an obsession with cats and I have an obsession with cat shirts and cat necklaces. He is really good at purring and meowing.

Jacob VanZanten

Van is from Surrey, British Columbia, Canada. He is 18 years old and is a pseudo ginger, so we will be bringing lots of SPF 100 to Fiji. He also wants you all to know that he is extremely good-looking. He is the one other tall person on our team. We have a secret handshake. It mostly involves high-fiving too high for anyone else to reach.

Beth Roughton

Beth is from Hamilton, New Zealand. She is 17. We like to call her Beeth (like Beef), because that is how she says her name in her Kiwi accent. She is an eager beaver and a prayer warrior (I wonder if Kiwis know what beavers are...).

What?

Outreach!

The scripture for our team is:
"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." (Isaiah 61:1-3)

We will be doing all sorts of things - from street evangelism to door knocking to children's ministry to helping out at churches... the list goes on....

Where?

Lautoka. Pastor Jare

Paihia/NZ. Operation Jerusalem.

Kaitaia/NZ. Pastor Graeam

Auckland/NZ. Pastor Trent. C3 South Aukland.

When?

We will be leaving New Zealand on November 24 and flying to Fiji. We will be in Lautoka working with Pastor Jare. Pastor Jare is Dan's dad. Dan is one of the students on my DTS and he is from Fiji!!!! Our base has been doing outreach with Dan's dad for a long time, and finally Dan was able to come to New Zealand and take part in his own DTS!!! How awesome is that! I am so excited to stay with his parentals for a while! We will be staying in Fiji for about a month. We will arrive back in New Zealand on December 26. So we will get to have a Fijian Christmas! I am so pumped for that!

When we get back we will be volunteering in Paihia with Operation Jerusalem. Paihia on New Years is the place for young people to go and get drunk and party. So we will have a booth, giving out free sausages and water. It will be a super opportunity for us to minister to the youth of New Zealand! Beth is pretty nervous to hang around drunken youth, so pray for her! (And the rest of us too!)

Then we are going to Kaitaia. While there we will be planning and running a children's program. It will be kind of like Vacation Bible School (VBS).

And our last stop will be in south Aukland. This is a rough part of Aukland and we will be doing something at a big church down there called C3. There are lots of street people and prostitutes and stuff like that in that area. During our DTS, we have had 'Hope Cafe' every Monday, Wednesday and Friday during our break in the middle of the morning lecture. There is coffee and cookies and icecream available by donation. All of the money raised goes to the prostitutes in South Aukland. So we will actually get to meet these girls and minister to them! Pray for them!

Why?

Why not?

Word Fun with Kiwis

There are a few words that I have learned since I have been in New Zealand. The first is 'unco'. The other day, Kiwi Hannah was being a klutz (as usual) and she said 'Uhh. I'm such an uncle!' And I was like 'What? Why are you an uncle?' And she explained that she had said 'unco' and not 'uncle' but both words sound the exact same with her accent. And apparently unco is short for uncoordinated. Clever. Kiwis like to think that they make new words, but they actually don't, they just shorten words that already exist.

Some other translations:
Beanie or Hat = Toque
Jumper (sounds like jumpa when they say it) = sweater
Cotton buds = Q-tips
Marmite = Gross (not actually, I just think marmite is gross)
Lappy = Laptop computer
Togs = Swim suit
Kiwi fruit = Kiwi
Kiwi = New Zealander
Drink bottle = Water bottle
Everything Matt and Aleisha say = ????????
Albino (they pronounce it Al-beenoh) = Albino
Toilet = Bathroom/Washroom
Sup Bro = Hey
Sweet As = Awesome! or Sweet! or Cool! etc.
Take-away = To go
Soft Drink = Pop
Ginger (pronounced Ging-ger) = Ginger (in reference to red heads)
Macca's = McDonals or McDicks
Stubbies = Short shorts that boys wear (so unattractive)
All Blacks = A Rugby team
Ute = A small truck
Undies = Underwear
Jandles = Flip Flops
Hand-bag = Purse (even big ones)
Chips = Fries
Chips = Chips
Biscuits = Non-round Cookies
Cookies = Round Cookies

Kiwis also say 'eh' a lot. A lot more than most Canadians, I'd say. That's all I can think of for now. Other strange things they do include driving on the wrong side of the road - the left side. I finally think I have mastered looking both ways in the right order before crossing the street, finally! And I checked and the water does go down the drain in the opposite direction!

Today was pretty awesome. It was Elisa's birthday! Happy B-day Gurrrl! Josh and Misty came today and gave the first lecture on relationships. We talked about trust today. And we played this game which involved trusting. There were 4 teams and 8 rounds. In each round each team had to pick either 'X' or 'Y'. And that was it. If all 4 teams chose 'X' then everyone got -1 point. If 3 teams chose 'X' and 1 chose 'Y', the 'X' teams would get +1 point each, and the 'Y' got -3. If two chose 'X' and two chose 'Y', the 'X's got +2 each and the 'Y's got -2 each. If one team chose 'X' and three chose 'Y', the 'X' got +3 and the 'Y's got -1, and if all four chose 'Y' everyone would get +1. So basically if everyone chose Y every time, then everyone would win. But you have to trust that everyone will chose Y. My team decided that we would go for the win and choose X every time. We were so trustworthy! It was Matt, Rich, Kyle, Anne, Me and Van. Van was the only one with a conscience. He made us choose Y the last round because he felt guilty. Bahaha! But we still won!!! And that's all that matters! But actually Josh explained that Jesus would have chosen 'Y' every time and that is what we should do too. I would do that in real life, but not in a game. In a game I want all the glory! :P

This afternoon I slacked on my CIR (homework) because I disliked last week so much and didn't want to write about it. So I went for a nice long run. I always feel so awkward going for runs because my running shirt is a tight tank top from lululemon and I am not sure if it is YWAM appropriate. So I always sneak around and try not to let anyone see me when I go for a run. That failed. At the end of my run, I walked my Jacob, Henk and Rebecca. And apparently I looked like Barbie because I am tall and blonde and 'skinny'. Pffffft. I don't know what world I am considered skinny in but it is not this one. And I am pretty sure that Barbie has boobs that are a lot larger than mine and a waist that is a lot smaller than mine. And her feet are permanently stuck in high-heel tip-toe position.

I went into the A-frame to get some water after my run. And Noemi was disgusted at how sweaty I was. I was pretty drenched. I sweat so much! Last spring I did a field school in Belize and I sweated 24-7 the whole time. Everyone always thought that I had just had a shower.... Nope. Just REALLY sweaty. I actually sweated so much, while sitting on wooden chairs doing homework, that I got a heat rash on my butt cheeks. I had to get some cortisone cream and put it on my butt at night. I would wedgie my underwear into my butt, apply the cream, point the fan towards my bed so that the wind would blow on my bum, and tell my roomy, Sarah, to try not to look (for her own good) and then I would starfish bellyflop onto my bed for the night. Poor Sarah, she saw a bit too much of my butt. So I look forward to find out what my outreach team will have to endure while we are in Fiji! Bahaha!

Speaking of gross butt things. My digestive system is still on the fritz! Yesterday I had diarrhea and today I am constipated. And I didn't take any Imodium. I am so frustrated with my body. I wish I could just go back to my normal poop schedule of every day, once a day, nicely formed - not too runny, not too hard. Just right.

Tonight for small groups we watched a movie. We watched The Proposal, with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. I am so in love with Ryan Reynolds. I am so going to marry him. And then I won't have to change my last name because I like my last name. But I will mostly marry him because he is one of the most attractive men I have ever seen and he is rich.

Tatts and Piercings: Sin or Not?

Here is a video that was sent to me by one of Kiwi Hannah's lovely friends!!! Thanks gurrrrl!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rN3voADV14Y

A Few Awkward Moments in Steph's Life

What a wondrous weekend! We are back in Matamata safe and sound! This morning we hung out and cleaned the beach house and made it back to the base by 4:30. We had quite a bit of spare time this morning, so Elisa and I worked on our song. It is called 'Be Still'. We really took our creative liberties with it. On different sections we trade back and forth on who sings the melody and who sings harmony, and the harmonies switch from the high to the low harmony frequently and inconsistently. And we also switch the timing part way through. Bahaha. Schnegg really judged us on the timing the first time he heard it, but he likes it now!

We also had a bit of time after we were done cleaning before we left, so Matt got out his lappy and we watched Parks & Recreation, which is my new favorite show. There was a hilarious comment about Russian children, named Nicholi and some other 'Russian' name, playing in dirt pits instead of playgrounds. There was also a band named 'Just the tip'. Oh man. So bad, but so good!

There were a few funny things that happened this weekend that I forgot to write about before. For one thing, before we left on Friday, cottage five had a tampon insertion demo. It is very difficult to explain how to use a tampon. And really gross. And just really awkward. Bahaha. It was so funny. We were talking about the best ways to position your body and how to relax the muscles. So awkward.... Speaking of gross things, my digestive system is back on the fritz. I think I will have to take some more imodium.

A few funny things happened on the beach yesterday. First, the sand was black. So naturally one would desire to stick the sand all over one's self to see what it would be like to be black. And naturally Janessa would be the one in this scenario. So she got her feet and her lower leg covered, but then gave up. It looked like she had a skin coloration disease, like Michael Jackson maybe.... Like most of her skin had turned white, but her feet were lagging behind. I called her Janessa the Nigro. I am very politically correct. Second, I sat playing my guitar for pretty much the whole time. And the sun was on my right side the whole time, so now I have a really unfortunate sunburn/tan. My right arm was bright red yesterday with no sign of sun on my left arm. And it is the same on my face. I thought that it wasn't super noticeable, but I was proven wrong today when we got back to the base and the first thing Rich said to me was "Steph, it looks like you got a bit of sun on the weekend, but only on one side of you." Awesome. I guess my mission for tomorrow is to sit all day with my left side to the sun.

I bought some dairy free chocolate bars at the grocery store. On the way home I set them behind the driver's seat in the van. The unfortunate things about these guetto vans that we ride around in here is that the motor is not under the hood, in front of the driver. It is behind the driver seat. When I was unloading my groceries when we got back my chocolate bars were liquid. Dang.

I am really excited for this week because Josh Cole is coming to teach again! He was here in the second week (I think) and he taught on Hearing the Voice of God and it was really amazing! He will be here teaching on Relationships with his wife Misty. I am so jacked. It will be a really nice change from spiritual warfare (yuck).

I wish there were more funny things to say, but alas I am exhausted and must go to bed. Sweet dreams!!!

Thanksgiving in Raglan, New Zealand

What a refreshing Saturday! I was coming into the weekend feeling a little bit uneasy and a little bit down. But this get away excursion to the beach house was exactly what I needed. I got to sleep in this morning... until 9:30! That is unheard of!

Kiwi Hannah and I got to share a bed together! So exciting! I have felt like I haven't got to hang out with her as much recently so I was really happy when she wanted to room with me! We had some good 'Ol girl chat when we went to bed. I felt a little bad for her though because my digestive system has been having some issues the past couple of days again. But I opened the window to save her sensory olfactory cells from a stinky death.

Janessa, Hannah from the South and Shneggy made us all pancakes this morning. Everything Janessa touches in the kitchen tastes like it was delivered straight from heaven. And Schneggly prepared my glutey-eggy-dairy pancakes with love. And I could taste the love. It tasted so good with my special nutella, bananas and maple syrup!

Our favorite song of this DTS is called 'Deep Cries Out' and the lyrics go like this:
We're stirring up deep, deep wells
We're stirring up deep, deep waters
We're gonna jump in the river, jump in the river....
So while Schnegg stirred the pancake batter he sang
We're stirring up deep, deep pancakes
We're stirring up deep, deep pancakes
We're gonna jump in the kitchen, jump in the kitchen...
In his cute little french accent. Hahaha. I thought it was hilarious. It was quite possibly the highlight of my morning.

We spent the afternoon at the beach. Raglan is one of the big surf spots in New Zealand. So we went to the surf beach and scoped out the hotties. But the tide was waning and I think that it was not prime surf because there was no one surfing. But the beach was beautiful and the waves were making a relaxing thunderous noises. The beach is really beautiful. It is down at the bottom of a green hill/cliff thing. The beach was really long, and the sand is black. So cool. New Zealand is volcanic rock so it's beaches on the west side of the island are black. I am not sure why the sand on the east side is white though...

I brought my guitar because I thought that the beach might provide a change in surroundings and inpsiration for a song. I remembered the prophesy that I got about how I would write prophetic songs over people and nations, so I asked God to give me a song. And Janessa was out walking along the beach and standing in the waves in front of me. I couldn't look away from her. So I wrote her a song. It turned out pretty sweet! I love writing songs! And I think I am getting better at it. Elisa and I wrote a song last night too! So many songs in such little time :)

On the way home from the beach, we stopped in town for a bit of food. Hannah, Hannah and I decided we wanted coffee, so we were walking around looking for a cafe and some guys on a bar patio asked us if they could buy us a drink. Hannah from the South was oblivious. Kiwi Hannah awkwardly said "No...." and tried to walk fast and avoid eye-contact, and I stopped and said "No thanks, but could you tell us where we could find a coffee shop?" I had to repeat it a few times because he couldn't understand my accent. But he pointed us to a creepy alleyway and told us there was a coffee shop down the alley. We didn't even think twice and walked right down the alley way. Luckly there was a coffee shop there and not a serial rapist waiting for us. And it was probably the best coffee I have had in a while which is saying a lot since all coffee in New Zealand is AMAZING. But sometimes it is annoying because they only have fancy coffees here, like lattes and mochas and stuff like that. They don't just have plain old coffee. Matt is really upset about this because he just wants coffee, but everywhere you go they look at you weird if you ask for coffee. But the lattes are legitimately the best lattes I have ever had in my life. I might move here just for the coffee.

When we got back to the house, Johanna and Sarah and Jacob got to work in the kitchen. We celebrated both Canadian and American Thanksgiving today! We got to show Kiwi Hannah and the Europeans the glory of eating until you go into a food coma! And we even went around the circle and told everyone what we are thankful for. I am thankful for so many things! I am so thankful that the staff took the time to get pancakes for me this weekend! And I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people that are in my DTS with me! I love them all! And I am so thankful for my family at home! And I am so thankful for my friends at home! So much to be thankful for!

Speaking of friends back home, one of these lovelies messaged me today. I have been feeling really uneasy all week because of the stuff that I have been learning about 'Spiritual Warfare'. It got really weird. Like too weird for me. It got kind-of magicy and creepy and gave me the willies. I respect Beryl's opinion and I think that she is totally entitled to it and that she is a really amazing woman, but I just don't know if some of what she taught on this week really sits well with me.

I have been feeling really conflicted because she is very much against any piercings or tattoos. In Leviticus 19: 28, it says "'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the Lord.'" Which could be interpreted to mean piercings I guess. But no where does it say in the bible that piercing certain parts of your body is significant of worshipping Hindu gods. In fact, David actually pierced his ear to show his dedication to God, as in Yaweh, not some other god from a far off land. Because back in those days, masters pierced the ears of their slaves to show their ownership of them. So the piercing for David signified God's ownership of him! Nor does it say that piercings prevent you from getting spiritual giftings. In fact, as my friend pointed out, Romans 8: 38-39 says:
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
And Ephesians 1: 3 says:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
And in the words of my lovely Calgarian friend "How weak is our God if He cannot freely give us gifts because of a piece of metal in your nose?"
Amen, sister.

And as interesting as it is to learn about witchcraft and curses and creepy stuff like this, there was nothing said about generational curses by the apostles. This teaching is not from the bible. So I kind of lean towards doubting it and questioning it. It is more likely, in my opinion, that mental disorders have been passed down in my family line because of genetics and not because of a curse. Being a neuroscientist, I know a few things about mental disorders, and there is significant evidence that these can be passed down through genetics (and other external factors can work in combination with the genes to result in the emergence of the symptoms).
And further, it states in Colossians 1: 12-14:
'Giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
And in 1 John 5: 18:
'We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him.'
And in Romans 8: 15:
'For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba Father."'
And in Ephesians 2: 4-10:
God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
So no where in the bible does it say that a curse can go through the cross! Jesus died on the cross to save us from all sin! Once we have accepted Jesus, all curses and sins are broken off!

I have also felt convicted because I do yoga for exercise. Apparently since it has roots in Hinduism, it is from the devil. Some people think that since some of the poses were originally developed to worship some kind of gods, that it is un-Christian to practice yoga. I can understand that saying "Ommmmm" and stuff might symbolize the summoning of spirits or some crap, but I don't say "Ommmmm" and I don't have a mantra in the traditional sense, generally my mantra is "Jesus loves me" or "I'm God's favorite" or "I love God" or something that makes me feel more confident about myself like "I am strong, I am beautiful and I am worthy" or something. And when I do yoga I make it very clear to God that I am doing it as a form of exercise and a way of honoring my body and my soul and my spirit, which were all made in his image. He knows that I am not worshipping some gods that I don't even know exist. I think that I still need to pray about it and ask God his opinion on it though, but in the mean time I will be doing lots of stretching (yoga) in Yaweh's name. 

This blog has sparked a very spirited theological debate on the couch currently with Kiwi Hannah and Janessa. I love theological debates. 

One funny story from this evening: We all gathered to have a movie night tonight and we had three movies to chose from - Armageddon, the Italian Job or Oceans 11. We took a vote and Henk was like "I vote for the 'Challenging Job'" Bahahah! Oh Europeans. They crack me up. But we did end up watching the 'Challenging Job', or as us native English speakers call it, the Italian Job. 

Also, during the movie, there was not too much inappropriateness, there was some women in underwear, but no nudity or sex scenes which was nice, but there was one explicative - "What the F*** happened to my truck?" It was kind of awkward when the movie said that, but then Kat made it ok by saying "At least it rhymed," Indeed, rhyming makes everything much better!!!

Good night everyone!!!
P.S. Tu est magnifique ce soir, Schnegg. <3

Friday, Friday, Gotta Get Down on Friday!

I am writing from Raglan, New Zealand. This weekend the Mus-oh's are having a little vacay at the beach house. We are renting a house in Raglan, near the beach! We left the base at about 2 after lunch. We packed the vans totally full of instruments and backpacks and such things. We are supposed to be relaxing and finishing up/practicing our songs for the album this weekend. We get a change of surroundings for inspiration.

On the way here I drank a soy coffee frappe and a few sips of coke. That was a bad decision because about half-way here I had to pee SO BAD. I had to pee so bad that I begged Janessa to stop for me. So we pulled up at a sketchy little building. I felt like a super hero or a race-car driver because I got to get out of the van through the window! It was so awesome. I don't think I will ever use a door again!

The beach house is so nice and modern and comfy. When you walk in the door, there is a living room and kitchen area. There is a flat-screen TV WITH SATELLITE! Woah! TV! What is that? We are watching Soul Sufer right now. That is why I am writing my blog. Soul Surfer is quite possibly the lamest movie that we could possibly watch. But I conned Schnegg into sitting beside me. Aweeeee. Schnegg porte un T-shirt jaune, de gris pantalons, une chainette metallique avec un pendentif en forme de croix et il est pieds nus. Aren't I getting good at french? I didn't even need Schnegg's help! (haha that last statement may or may not be false).

The boys are re-stringing their guitars right now. It makes me feel guilty. Poor Big Red. He hasn't been restrung in... ever. I have neglected him. Poor little guy! Or big guy I guess!

I am gonna go work on my song with my violinist now though! Yay! Pce Out Y'all.

Hummus is all I have left...

I think I am under spiritual attack. The second I get any sort of confirmation from God, or any time I make a promise to God, I get flooded with doubt and sadness and worry and rejection. Maybe it is just because I am on my period, but I am getting so offended by everyone. And we keep learning about having an unoffended heart and that other people's opinions don't matter, only God's does. But how do you get rid of the feeling of rejection when you get left out of something. As much as I rebuke the spirit of rejection, I still feel rejected and retreat to my room by myself, probably worsening the situation. Maybe it's just because I am on my period. I hope that is all that is going on.

We fasted for our home countries this morning, until lunch. During the prayer all of us Canadians gathered together in one corner. We were praying and such, and then we felt like we needed to sing the anthem. So we had a discussion on whether or not it would be rude to sing the anthem and disrupt the other countries prayer. We decided to go outside to sing it just incase. Then we came back in and started praying and the Kiwis started singing their anthem nice and loud. Oh man, we are such typical Canadians worrying about being polite all the time.

During the lecture this morning, we went through our family trees and tried to identify any curses over the family or any other religions. The only real issue in my family is on my dad's side. All of the women have mental illness, including myself, all the way back to my great grandma (and maybe further I don't know). That part of the family is from Ireland and England and there is a lot of witchcraft and freemasonry in the history of those countries. The relatives that I know of were all Catholic, but maybe farther back there could have been a 'curse' or something. So we broke that off today. Woot Woot. 

Also, Beryl keeps telling me that I should take my nose rings out. Apparently in Hindu culture piercings in different places can symbolize worship to different gods. The one in the nose means worship of the god of death and destruction - Sheba? I think. Creepy. Who would worship a god of death and destruction? That just seems silly. I hope that Sheba doesn't think I am worshipping her. Since I have two does it make it doubly bad? I need to pray over this and decide if I want to take them out... But apparently having piercings can be a spiritual block. So, Beryl says that if I take them out I my spiritual gifts would be so much stronger, and I might get the gift of tongues. Hmm... Kinda sounds weird to me, but we'll see.

I'm in a bad mood. I can't write anymore right now. Good night!

A Unique Wednesday in History

This morning it was SO COLD when I woke up. And when I went outside, there was frost! But all of the Kiwis informed me that it was cold overnight because there were no clouds in the sky, and that it would get really hot today because of the lack of clouds. And they were right! It got so hot out today! I put on shorts and a T-shirt it was so warm! I mean, it was not sweltering or anything but probably over 20 degrees Celcius! Woot woot! And I got a tan! Yeah man! One step closer to being a Fijian.

This morning in lectures, Beryl taught on things that block us from moving in the spirit. There is a whole list of them:
- Dishonoring of parents
- Witchcraft (ouija boards, music, books, films, some computer games)
- Fantasy
- Drugs and Alcohol
- Sexual abuse, unwanted touching
- Pronography
- Rejection, fear of rejection, and self rejection
- Unforgiveness
- Immorality (sex before marriage / adultery)
- Abortion (murder)
- Fears, phobias
- Generational sin
- Other religions
- Old dedications
- Curses, self-imposed curses
- Freemasonry
Beryl told us to figure out if any of these are things that need to be broken off of our lives, and if we think of any that we should come to her for prayer. As I thought, I had this super vague memory of using a ouija board one time. I don't remember when or where it was or who I was with, or if it was maybe a dream, I don't even remember if it worked, but I went to her for prayer on that. Ouija boards (and anything to do with the occult like fortune telling and tarot cards) can open you up to all kinds of evil spirits. So while Beryl was praying this off of me, my stomach lurched a bit, and Aleisha who was interceding with me started to convulse, and Carly saw a pole or something coming out of my back and she karate chopped it with her hand. Whatever it was came out. And Beryl said that it was hard to get it out, that it really didn't want to come. Creepy. I wonder what it was doing to me...

All of this crazy spiritual stuff is really wierding me out and scaring me a bit. I have never believed in ghosts or spirits or magic or anything like that. Even as a kid I didn't believe in ghosts. I always thought that magic or fortune telling was some sort of trick or act. It really scares me that these things could be real. I guess the moral of the story is to stay away from tarot readers and witches/witchcraft and all that stuff to protect yourself from the demonic.

This just reminds me of this summer when I was shopping with Brittany on 17th avenue, and we saw a sign for a Tarot reading. And we talked about it and decided it was fake and that we would check it out. So we went to the building where the sign was and inside the door was a staircase and you could go up or down the stairs. So we went down, and the doors at the bottom were locked. So we went up to the top and the doors were locked. So we gave up and left. I wonder if it was God protecting us. So weird.

But a Christian should not worry because we have God on our side. Jesus has already died and risen from the dead to save us. The war against evil has already been won. We know how the story ends because we have the book of revelation! And all who accept Christ are safe! And all we need to defeat the demonic realm is available to us through Jesus Christ. Even just his name makes them shudder.

The Christian Soldier Checklist (Ephesians 6: 11-18)
- Breast plate of Righteousness
- Belt of Truth
- Shield of Faith
- Helmet of Salvation
- Sword of the Spirit
- Feet prepared with the Gospel

During the prayer time I was just praying to myself in my little corner and I opened my eyes momentarily and saw Kat and Sarah was praying for her. I went over and laid hands on Kat. And as soon as I touched her I got a vision. And I knew that it was not my own thoughts. And as Sarah prayed, the vision progressed with the prayer. And then Sarah started praying for the impartation of the gift of prophesy for Kat and for increases of that gift. People have prophesied over me and told me that I have that gift, but I constantly doubt wether or not my thoughts are from God. But anyways, while Sarah prayed, my hand got burning hot on Kat and it felt like something was moving from me into her. Crazy. I prayed for more, and more and more and it kept going until Sarah finished praying. Woah. So cool.

This afternoon in Rec, we played some form of cricket. I have never played cricket before, nor have I seen it played, nor have I ever had anyone explain it to me. Aleisha assumed that everyone knew how and just said the basic rule. Most of us are Canadian and American. We were so confused. But we started to play and it was SO FUN. Maybe it was only fun because my team won with a score of like 46 to 6 or something ridiculous like that. But it might be my new favorite game.

However, I am really bad at hitting the ball with the racket. Especially when Dave, the back-catcher, tries to distract me and psych me out. He was asking all sorts of obnoxious questions, and then he asked "How tall are you, Steph?" And I said "Taller than you. Haha." That shut him up. But it also made everyone, including me and him, laugh really hard. So I still couldn't hit the ball.

After rec I went for a run. It was so nice and sunny and warm. It was beautiful. And I had the ingenious idea of running into the wind first, so that the wind would be behind me on the way back! The past few times I have had to run into the wind on the way back and it really makes the run feel a lot worse that it actually is. It was a glorious run. And then I did a bit of yoga stretches in the sun when I got back. My real motivation for the run and the yoga was that I would get a tan. And it worked!

And after supper I had a band practice. Matt is in charge of the worship on Friday, and he decided that it would be awesome to have a full band. And he was right. We have drums, keys, base, electric guitar and two acoustic guitars. So sweet. We had a really long and loud practice because everyone is ADD and likes making noise. But I think that it will be so AWESOME on friday!!!! YESSSSSSS!

And now I am getting ready to go to the prayer room for my hour slot from 10 to 11 PM. We are having 48 hours of prayer here on the base starting from 12 AM this morning. Woot woot. Sweet stuff happens when people are continuously praying!

Burglar attack!

This morning when I got to the A-frame, Rich informed me that the lecture room had been burgled and that everything had been taken - the two expensive guitars that the base owns, the computer, the projector, etc. And everyone had to wait outside until the cops came to investigate and take finger prints and stuff. So everyone was a bit upset.. Noemi had left her iPhone in the lecture room overnight and was crying (haha so cute, Noemi would cry!! - Love you Nomes). Matt was worried that his guitar had been stolen. Kat was just relieved that no one was hurt... Anyways, Miranda got us all together to pray blessings over the burglars and ask for protection over the base.

Then the staff came out of the building dressed up all fancy...

They got us good. They had prepared a fancy breakfast for us! We came into the A-frame and there were table cloths on the tables and the tables were set all fancy with our names on our places. The staff came around with juice and coffee and pancakes and bacon and hash browns and there was fresh fruit and yogurt and stuff... so awesome! They even made me gluten/egg/dairy free pancakes! You have no idea how excited I was! Oh man, I was so glad to finally eat something yummy! And they made me a piece of salmon with honey on it, because they wanted me to have some protein! How sweet! And it was SO GOOD! And I have decided that Sean should be a waiter in real life. He was so pleasant and polite. I didn't know that he could be either of those things. Just kidding Sean! You are so awesome and polite and pleasant!

We learned lots more about spiritual warfare this morning too. We learned about the manifestations of spirits; they can come in the form of jealousy, depression, lying, pride, perversion, dead people, and immorality. There are lots of weapons that Christians can use against these things, like prayer, fasting, praise and worship (of God), the Word, the Armour of God, resistance of the enemy through speech, faith, the name of Jesus Christ, and communion.

There are three levels of Satan's influence:

1. General Warfare Against the Believer: Temptation (Matthew 4: 1): enticement or compulsion from an external source to violate God's law. The solution is resistance.
2. Specific Bondage and Demonisation: Oppression (Acts 10: 38): persistent on going bondage, affliction of body or soul that may be outward (vexation) or inward (demonization). The solution is deliverance.
3. Deception and Bondage of Unbelievers: Control (1 John 5: 19): dominance of soul by Satan, either generally (covertly) through deception and disobedience or specifically (overtly) through direct control of evil spirits. The solution is repentance and salvation.

It is interesting that the week that I am learning about spiritual warfare is the one that I start experiencing it too. Last week on Thursday, after the Sean Feucht worship session thinger, I was praying during the van ride back home and I told God that I was all in. I told Him that I will give up everything that he asks me to forgive and I will follow Him to the ends of the earth. I was feeling so good and sure of everything.

On Sunday, I talked to my Mom on skype. It was SO NICE to see her and talk to her (and my dad and sister too!)! But she was worried for me and thought that YWAM might be a cult or something and she was scared that I was never coming home. She told me about some of her worries and the potential ways that I could be being brainwashed. I told her not to worry, that I still have my super critical and analytical neuroscience brain and that I over analyze everything way too much to ever be brainwashed.

But her words planted a seed of doubt in me. I started to question everything that I have been doing. I started wondering if I have maybe opened myself up to something that is not of God by letting these people pray over me. And I have been analyzing and questioning everything anyone tells me and wondering if it is truly from God. And as soon as these doubts came into my mind, I started doubting myself and everyone around me. I let the spirit of rejection overtake me and I started to feel like no body liked me and that everyone was just putting up with me because they had to because they are stuck with me. And I got really insecure about my music, about my abilities in singing and playing guitar and in song writing. And I got really angry. And I tried to isolate myself from everyone as much as possible.

Today was the worst. Hannah D asked me what was wrong and I told her and she tried to encourage me, but I have so much trouble trusting people and believing their words that I just got angry at her. She was holding my hands and I broke away from her and told her to leave me alone. Oh man. Who am I? (I feel like I owe a lot of people an apology - I think Rebekah said hi to me and told me I look nice today numerous times and I basically ignored her... I'm Sorry!)

Anyways, I spent most of the rest of the day doing chores mostly by myself, and hanging out in my room by myself. Doing the usual stuff that I do when I'm alone, like pout. And I was so worked up and angry that I was on the verge of tears and I was so mad that I didn't even want to help myself and I didn't even want to try to feel better.

Josh Kinkenberg was the speaker at open meeting tonight, so he brought his worship team and they did a small worship time to open things up, and Josh did his talk on the presence of the kingdom of heaven in us, NOW. Basically, to sum it up he said that you have to go after God and go after your gifts as though you have already been given them, and then you will have them. Awesome. Sounds easy enough... maybe...

After the talk he got everyone to make a line and him and his team would pray for each person individually. Sweet! I love being prayed for... except I was in a super bad mood. So I went at the end of the line away from all the other students so I could sulk alone and hope that I would get some good prayers to cheer me up a bit. Well. I got majorly hit with MORE prophesies. Oh man. It seems like every time I go for ministry I get prophesied over. Craziness. Maybe God is trying to tell me something... Geeze.

The first girl that prayed for me prayed blessings over me and prayed for the gift of healing for me. Then she told me that I have powerful words and that I often think that people don't hear me, but they do. And she told me that God speaks to me SO MUCH! Like, he is constantly speaking to me. And He wants me to just realize that it is Him and stop second guessing myself. Then she looked at me and said that she feels like I have a really powerful testimony and that it will change people's lives. Woah. More confirmation over the woman at the well prophesy from week one. Cool.

The next lady that prayed for me was Josh's wife. She told me I was beautiful. Awe. And then right away she said that I am really artistic and that I have a gift of prophetic art. She says that God talks to me so much and that I have the ability to convey that to people through painting, writing and music. She said that I will prophesy over people and nations with my art. Cool! (Earlier today I had asked God for confirmation that I should keep on playing music and writing songs. I was feeling really discouraged and like I was no good at it and that I should quit now, so I told Him if he didn't send me a sign that I would quit. Well, I guess I can't quit now, can I?)

Then, God saved the best for last, Josh said that he can see that I am very discerning (everyone has been telling me this!), and that I can really see what is on people's hearts. He said that I have a gift for encouraging people and for speaking truth to people (Hannah R told me this last week). He said that my words have so much influence and that people really listen when I speak (everyone keeps telling me this too). He said that when I speak one word of encouragement to someone, it is equivalent to when 100 people speak that one word to them. My words just have so much impact and people believe what I say. But on the flip side, when I speak negative words on people it has a huge impact as well. So I need to be careful. The enemy wants me on his team because I would be able to bring so many people down. So I need to really be careful and be aware of my words. There is an assignment on my life to get me to stop speaking words of encouragement, so the enemy is using rejection to get me to stop. He is trying to get me so offended that I won't encourage anyone anymore. Woah. That is totally what happened to me TODAY. Crazy. There is definitely a spiritual war going on. Creepy....

Spiritual Warfare

Wow. It is week 8 already... we are almost 2/3 done DTS! I am so sad. Time needs to stop going so fast!!!

This week is Spiritual Warfare week. Beryl, the ministry director, is teaching us this week. She specializes in Spiritual Warfare, and apparently has written a pretty good book on it, which movie producers keep wanting to make a movie of, but she keeps refusing. She is a really cute little kiwi lady. She told us her testimony today. Wow. She has had such a crazy life!!! I was not expecting that story from her. She became a Christian in her early twenties. Her first husband was killed in a plane accident, and her second husband, Bill, passed away in 2010 from cancer. I just can't even believe how positive she is and how faithful she is to God after having been widowed twice! But she is very lucky and has 6 kids and 16 grandkids! So I am sure they keep the memories of their fathers alive!

The memory verse for this week is:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. - Ephesians 6: 12

In spiritual warfare, it is important to remember the following:

Warfare is lifestyle - Purity in everything (clothing, entertainment, politics, music).

Warfare is language - No coarse jesting or crude talk. Resist the enemy with your speech.

Warfare is honesty - Being truthful in everything we say and do (business, relationships, taxes)

Warfare is tithing - Giving to the poor and God.

Warfare is standing in righteousness - Speaking out when others stay silent. Opposing contentious issues (abortion, euthanasia, homosexuality).

Warfare is moral purity in ALL things - Marriage, relationships...

These are necessary because Satan's kingdom is weakened by Godly living. I guess the only part of this that I question is the opposition of homosexuality. I have always understood that homosexuality is not a choice, it is just the way that a person is. But I always thought of it as a biological thing, like there was some sort of differential brain function happening in homosexuals vs. heterosexuals. And there is some research to support this - there have been studies suggesting that the brain of a gay man is more similar, both in terms of structural shape and size and in terms of connections, to the brain of a woman. And that the brain of a homosexual woman is similar to that of a straight man.
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1815538,00.html
But I see that some of the people here see homosexuality as a spiritual thing, and that the 'homosexual spirit' can be told to leave the body of someone who is controlled by it. I have to admit I don't really know what to think anymore. My science brain is really not agreeing with this whole spirit thing...

Anyways, spiritual warfare is basically recognizing strategies of Satan, and refusing to cooperate and aggressively cutting them off. And the good news is that through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus, Satan has already been defeated! So we can't lose in a spiritual battle against sin!

So... this week could be a bit weird.... I am trying not to be too critical/skeptical, but you know how I am...

But I was very productive today! I got my journal (CIR) for last week done and handed in AND my book review done and handed in! YESSSSSS. This is the first time in quite a few weeks that I have handed anything in on time! Woot Woot. I have to admit, I wrote less than usual because my brain did overtime last week with all that craziness that Goldie put me through! And... I may or may not have actually read the entire book for my review... Shhhh. Don't tell!!!

Other than that, life is good. Last week I asked Kitchen Rick if he could start feeding me salad all the time because I'm getting too fat. He was quite happy to do this because it makes his life easier, and my waste is no longer expanding by the day! Woohoo good work Rick! (And good work me because I have been eating less chocolate between meal times!)

For small groups tonight we had a nice pic-nic in the field. Johanna and Kat made some lovely German pudding with soy milk... it was interesting. It had chunkies in it and didn't really taste like pudding... but it all got eaten!!! And we just chatted about everything from abortion to graduation speeches to geese (geese are evil, I hate them) to Fiji. It was a good chat. We also made fun of Johanna for how she says OK - it sounds like (HOOOOOK-EEEEHHH) in a German accent. Baha so cute! <3 But it was kinda cold out, so Kat and I came back to our cottage and found Carly and Anne here, so we had a chat in the bathroom standing under the heater. How nice. And Brent even was able to join us!!! (For some reason we have a passport sized photo of him, which looks an awful lot like a mug shot, and I found it the other day and decided it needed to be hung up - it is now on the bathroom mirror with a note that says "BRENT IS WATCHING (From his jail cell)") So we had a good chat with Brent watching.

Fort Building Success!

So last night our fort was AWESOME. We strung sheets around the room from the lamp to the curtain rod to the bunk bed to the door. It took major engineering skillz. We used pegs (clothes pins) and hair elastics to fasten our roof. I was just not allowed near it because I made it collapse so many times. And then I was banished to sleep on the far side that was barely covered by sheets. Good thing it was an indoor fort because I would have got drenched from rain leakage.

Me, Hannah R, Kat, Noemi in our sweet fort!

Kat, Me and Hannah. Doesn't it look sturdy?

This morning I told the girls that I wanted to skip breakfast to sleep in. They were so quiet when they left. I didn't hear a thing. And I got to sleep in until almost 11. So good. On weekends, if you want lunch, you have to go to breakfast because they put out sandwich fixings with breakfast and you make a sandwich to save until lunch. So I missed breakfast and lunch... But unfortunately my roomies aren't quite the best roomies ever. Henk would be the best roomie ever.  He brought Jacob breakfast in bed, and made Jacob some sandwiches.

I got to talk to Momma Reyns and Perkinator (AKA: Vicki, my sister - don't ask where the nickname came from... no one knows...) on skype today. It was super nice to talk to them! I am pretty sure it has been almost a month since I last talked to them. I think they miss me a lot. But I don't miss them!!! Just kidding! I miss them a lot too. Oh and Dada made an appearance during the skype call but he is not much of a conversationalist so he didn't stay for long. He just wanted to see my face. Hahah I love you guys!!!!!

Other than that today was pretty relaxed. I had a really bad headache all day so I mostly slept a lot. I did some laundry too. And cleaned my room up because it looked like a bomb went off in here for the past month. I was planning on going for a run today, but there was a torrential down pour all day long. So that put a stop to any sort of outdoor activities. But I still managed to completely avoid reading my book or doing my journal entry which is due tomorrow. Ooops. But I was legitimately unable to focus from head pain. I took some T3s a few hours ago though, so now I feel BETTER THAN EVER. Too bad it is time to sleep!

The OP people didn't get back until 10:30 ish, so we didn't have our usual sunday night meeting. We just had a muse-oh meeting and shared songs. It was stellar. Hannah D, Elisa and I shared our song. It was pretty awesome. I just can't get over how amazing the violin is. Elisa is like an angel. The sound that her violin makes is SO BEAUTIFUL. And Hannah's voice is the voice of an angel too, but everyone already knew that! The only non-angel in our group is me... maybe they should find a more talented guitarist! But I won't let them because I want credit for that song. It is awesome. 

Jacob also shared a song. A cat song. He loves cats. So he played some chords and purred and meowed along with them. It was hilarious. His facial expressions actually looked like cat facial expressions. So funny! Meowwwwww.

Song Writing How To with Luke Parker and Strahan

What a glorious sleep in I had this morning! Ahhhhh. Today has been the first day in SO LONG that I have not felt like walking death. I got to sleep until 9. It was so amazing I can't even explain the way that it made me feel.

Then I had some oatmeal with sugar & cinnamon and peanut butter and gluten/dairy/nut-free nutella. So good! And it was made even more perfect with my Tim Horton's coffee that my mommy so lovingly mailed to me. A Canadian without her Tim Horton's is not something that you want to deal with for too long, so everyone should be thanking my mom!

I was also getting a little worried because ever since I took that Imodium the other night I had not had a bowel movement, I'm pretty sure it was over 48 hours. I was starting to get worried. BUT my fears were alleviated after breakfast. Praise Jesus.

At ten we had a session on song writing and on worship songs. A guy named Luke Parker was giving the talk and he brought is friend Strahan. They are both New Zealanders, and are currently on a living room tour where they have been playing in random peoples living rooms all around New Zealand. Luke wrote the song 'Sweet Surrender' which is one of my favorite worship songs. And Strahan I had never heard of before but he sings about Jesus but has a more folky feel. I LOVED his stuff that he played for us. And I got to play one of my songs on his guitar. I fell in love. I may have to purchase one like it when I get back to Canada. It was a Martin. Love Love Love. And it made my song sound so much better than normal. They gave me some pointers and encouragements on my song which was pretty cool!

The lecture room has big sliding doors / windows facing out towards the beautiful country side, and the parking lot. During the session some guy drove up, parked, wandered up to the windows looking really confused. Peered in at us and knocked. Hahah and we all just kinda looked out at him. And no one got up to open the door for him. He said something that wasn't really understandable through the glass... Luke said "WHAT?"... "Oh, he said: Is this the Gibson reunion?" haha. Everyone burst out laughing and shook their heads "No." Poor guy. He left again after that. Hahaha it was so funny... maybe you had to be there.

You can check these guys out at these websites:

http://www.lukeparker.com/

http://www.strahanmusic.com/index.html

They really got me into a mood for writing, so after the session was done Hannah Douglas and I went back to her cabin and started playing around on the guitar. We eventually figured out this really sweet plucking pattern which takes all of my concentration, so she is the only singer for now. But the song legit sounds so cool. It is called 'Standing Ovation'. And we recruited Elisa to play her violin along with our song. It sounds so beautiful. I LOVE violins! Every time Elisa started playing a note on her violin I forgot to keep playing the guitar because I got so entranced. Maybe that should be my next instrument to learn! But not really... I tried hers and it is really hard. But maybe one day. It can be on my bucket list.

Afterwards I came back to the cottage and found Kat looking frustrated. I sensed with my spidey senses that she was trying to write a song. She kind of struggles with that because she doesn't play an instrument. She is a singer. I don't really know how anyone could write a song without an instrument, so I fully sympathize with her. So I told her I would play chords for her and she could write a song. So I played Dm A G and A for while and she loved it. She loves minor keys. And she got some amazing verses. She said that she thought the lyrics sound like she is demon possessed or something! Bahah! Not at all! She is such a poet and can always put words to her emotions... I can't do this at all and she amazes me! Yay! I'm so excited for her to finish!

For fun Hannah Robinson and I have written some songs about our favorite things. She wrote a song about coffee (but from hearing the song you would just think it is a love song) and I wrote one about Peanut Butter. Yuummmmmm. It is really funny. These are the lyrics:

You could be smooth, or crunchy - depending on the day
You're good at breakfast, or lunch, or the end of the day

You look so delicious, and healthy - with your sun-kissed glow
You make the best cookies that I've ever known

You fill me up - you're so satisfying
You fill me up - with you I'm never hungry

You're so good with sugar, or honey, or even just plain
You might be kinda nutty, but I love you despite everything

You're so sticky, sometimes my mouth gets stuck
You're so tasty, sometimes I don't want to stop

I quite like it.

But with all this distraction of song writing I am getting really behind on all of my homework. I have to read my next book and do the book report by monday, and it is saturday night right now... Hmmm. I think I am about 1/4 done the book. Oh man. I better put down the guitar for a while.

At least the book I am reading is really good, so it shouldn't be too hard to finish by Monday. It is called 'The Irresistible Revolution' by Shane Claiborne. It is so good. I have actually already read it once and am re-reading it. It really makes me rethink how I am living my life and if I am actually living the way that Jesus would want me to live. Man. I can't even explain it. Read it. Here is the website for the organization that Shane Claiborne started:

http://www.thesimpleway.org/index.php/store/product/the-irresistible-revolution/

Also, Noemi just left to go to the 'welly' machine. And we were all very confused! What the heck is a welly machine?!?! ... it's a vending machine! Hahaha she had thought it was called a welly machine this whole time! Oh Austrians. Hahaha. I love the Europeans. They make my life so much more exciting.

I am at a loss for funny stories so I will write another one about the Europeans. Yesterday Henk asked Hannah Robinson "Have you seen the movie Bombi?"
Hannah said "Bombi? What's it about?"
"It's about a ray that loses it's mother"
"A sting ray?"
"Yeah a sting ray?"
Then Hannah talked about sting rays for a while, and Henk was really confused and asked what she was talking about.
"Sting rays"
"Oh. I meant deer."
"Oh, you meant Bambi!!!"

Oh miscommunication. So funny. Noemi just told us that 'ray' means 'deer' in German, so that clears things up a bit... but Henk is Dutch...

I am trying to write about everyone that is sitting with my right now, so I have to tell a story about Janessa! I have the perfect one. One night during Circuit Riders when we were leaving the church in Bethlehem, Janessa boobed me in the elbow. What a jerk! How dare she hit my elbow with her boob?!?! I just can't believe it. It is making me upset even now as I recall this memory!

Speaking of Bethlehem. There is an Inn right across the street from that church called the Bethlehem Inn. We have all decided that it needs to permanently have it's no vacancy sign on.

Anyways, got to go! It is fort-building time!!!!

Oh, one more thing about forts... We told the boys that we would be building forts and asked Schnegg if he would like to build a fort too, and he said "No! I'm twenty!"... Ummm Schnegg, maybe you didn't get the memo, but it is most definitely OK, and perhaps even encouraged, for twenty-somethings to build forts out of mattresses and blankets!

Let's Talk About Boys!

Rule number one at YWAM Pursuits is No Sex of Any Kind. Tonight I think we broke that rule, by accident. The Outdoor Pursuits people are gone sailing for the weekend, and us Music and Worship folks are a bit jealous. So we wanted to make our life a bit more exciting here on the base, so naturally we had a movie night! And you know what happens in dark rooms with movies on... Just Kidding!!! But seriously. We couldn't decide on a movie because there were 6 girls and 2 boys. Us girls wanted chick flicks and the boys wanted movies with dumb boy humour (yes humour and not humor, Matt). So finally we decided on 'Inception'. But Schegg, being the Debbie Downer that he is decided to go get another movie because 'Inception' wasn't good enough for him. So he got 'Up in the Air' with George Clooney. We started it off and it was purely F-bombs and dirty sex jokes that the Europeans didn't understand (lucky them!), and then maybe 5 or ten minutes into the movie we saw a woman's butt and her breasts. Everyone started screaming and laughing and Hannah Douglas jumped off the couch as fast as possible and exited from the movie. It was hilarious. I guess we broke rule number one. And now I can see why Schnegg wanted to watch 'Up in the Air' more than 'Inception'...

Speaking of Debbie Downers, Elisa learned a few new English expressions today. She learned what a Lazy Suzan is, what a Peeping Tom is, a Debbie Downer, a Negative Nellie, a Party Pooper... I think that is it. Also, we learned that the expression "When the cat is away, the mice will play" also exists in Swiss French, German, and Dutch. Who would have known?

Speaking of Schnegg, we are not on speaking terms. I can see why there is a rule here that students are not allowed to date one another. But as you have learned here tonight, we like to break rules. Schnegg and I had a fake relationship. It was glorious and wonderful and we got lots of beautiful couple photos together when we went sight seeing. We spent a wonderful afternoon together evangelizing and then went on a double date with Sean and Janessa to pick up some tips from a married couple. I thought that we would be together forever. Until this week. A few days ago Schegg posted this on my facebook wall: 
"So... Steph... I'm sorry to do this on FaceBook, but You and I it won't work... It's not you... But you know I feel like God wants someone better for you. 
You know I also want to deepen my relationship with God.. 
We still can be good friends.. OK? 
Sorry."

What kind of a guy would fake break-up with his fake girlfriend publicly on her facebook wall? I am so humiliated. I have been so upset that I have not been able to post about it until now. 

Schnegg and I at cathedral cove before he broke my heart...

In Circuit Riders we learned how to have a 'Clean Break-up' from our old lives when we turn to follow Jesus. A clean break-up is when you end the relationship and don't get back together again. You basically cut off contact. So in terms of breaking up with old sins what you have to do is Repent, Rebuke, Receive and Replace. So you repent for your sin, you rebuke that sin (which often involves kicking it or punching it in the face and sending it back to Hell), you receive God's forgiveness, and you replace that sin with God and everything God has to offer you. So I told Schegg that I repent for ever having a fake relationship with him, and that I rebuke him and punch him in the face, I receive forgiveness and replace him with God. And now he wants to get back together. Pffft. Dream on, buddy. (But you know I love you in real life, Schnegg).

There has also been a new rule instated for us students. There is no more touching allowed between the boys and the girls. Apparently we were showing too much affection for one another by hugging and having massage trains. I am so sad because my shoulders are in need of some serious work and none of the girls can massage as good as Matt and Schnegg. And sometimes a girl just needs a hug and no one can beat Brent's hugs. Woe is me. But I had to break that rule today because the Outdoor Pursuiters were leaving for the weekend. A WHOLE WEEKEND APART!!! WHATEVER WILL WE DO?!?!? So I had to give the boys some hugs (and Marit and Anne of course!).

Since the theme of this blog is boys and loveeee. I should talk about my love that lives in Taurunga. When we went to Bethlehem for the worship night with Sean Feucht last night, my secret love was there. I was staring into space as I so often do. Seriously, I was having a really long stare. And Hannah Douglas elbowed me and said "He just made eye contact with you!" And I was like "What? No... I was staring into space like a fool"... Awkward. Now he probably thinks I have some sort of disability or that I hate him and chose to ignore him. Dang. There goes any chance with him. Oh well, that means there's more of me for Jesus!

Also, today Schnegg asked "What's crap?" and we were all so fondly reminded of the time that Marit asked "What's poop?" and we got to explain that it's the brown stuff that comes out of your butt. Ohhh fun times with people that don't have english as their first language!!!

Anyways, it's getting late so I'm gonna hit the hay. I am looking forward to a session on song writing tomorrow with Luke Parker and having a fort-building slumber party tomorrow night!!!

Sean Feucht

Good news! No bowel movements today! Score!

This morning was the usual Thursday morning fast. We fasted for our outreaches. We had a good Fiji 1 team prayer. We were by far the loudest team, and the most unruly. Outreach should be hilarious. My favorite quote from this morning:
Hannah D: "Will we get to ride bikes in Fiji?"
Dave: "Uh..."
Steph: "More importantly, will we get to ride horses?"
Hannah (holding onto a large peice of bamboo with a hook on the end): "CIRCUIT RIDERS!" (Makes horse riding movements)
Haha... Hannah and I will definitely be distractions for each other...

Goldie introduced us to a few people this morning. And I am not proud to say that I know them all much too well. They are:

The 'Good' Girl (or the Perfect Pastor). This person never says "No." They always do everything that they are asked to do and always do what everyone expects them to do. They go through the motions and are always sweet and kind and nice, and wear a 'plastic' smile. 

BUT! Sometimes you have to say "No." Sometimes you have to take care of yourself. It is a good thing to perform good acts, but not out of bondage!!

This person always craves the approval and acceptance of others. They give from obligation and feel like it is selfish to care for themselves. But these 'good' acts are acts of the flesh and not acts of the spirit and therefore are not of life or of God.

Ms. Tough (or Mr. Rambo). This person covers, copes, hardens and survives. They are proud of the strength of their flesh. They loath weakness, scorn tenderness, and push past their own feelings. And since they do this, they expect others to do the same!

BUT! It is important to let God be your strength. When you only rely on your own self and on your own flesh to survive, this hardens your heart and blocks God from being able to help you!

Ms. Armour-plated (or Mr.). This person fears vulnerability. They are very guarded and emotionally impenetrable. They feel safer if they don't have to show emotion. 

This person is similar to Ms. Tough - they need to let God in. God can help deal with emotions. It is very unhealthy to bury them deep inside!

The Graduate. This person is searching for significance. This person wants to prove his or her worth through works. They strive under stress for competence, and struggle to earn relationship.

BUT! God has made each one of us significant in our own way! We don't need to prove or earn anything - all is ours by birth!

Ms. Perfectionist (or Mr.). This person is never satisfied, never content, and constantly wonder "What is wrong with me?" This person is constantly dissatisfied with his or her self. They constantly try harder because they are dissatisfied with their performance, and they keep pushing and pushing. They get discouraged at 'failure' and give up on their self and on God.

BUT! We will never find identity when there is self-rejection. We need to give it to God and trust that he is big enough to help us be who we are meant to be!

Ms. Bundle of Fun (or Mr.). This person is the party person. They are never serious and never get close to anyone. When in doubt, they make a joke, trap their feelings away and 'laugh it off.' 

The Rebel. This person has been dominated in their life, so they rebel. Their way of being their self is by being different. They fear being controlled again, and thus refuse to cooperate. They keep safe by doing their own thing.

I realized that I am all of these people. Awesome. God, you've got some major work to do in order to give me a heart transplant. Good luck, man.

The next thing Goldie talked about was gifting. God gives everyone gifts. And usually our gifts are our greatest strengths and our greatest weaknesses. They are sites of spiritual warfare because the enemy's greatest fear is that we would find out who we are and become it. 

I guess one of my gifts is discernment. I am good at evaluating situations and people. I am able to see their strengths and speak truth and life into them. The downside of this is that I can also see their weaknesses and can become judgmental. 

I am also very passionate and very compassionate. I care a lot for others. This means I tend to pour myself into others. Which is a good thing. But since I pour so much out, I require for a lot to be poured back in. But I often don't receive enough encouragement and care etc. so I can become bitter and resent people because I am trying so hard to help them, but I am not receiving anything in return.

I also think that one of my giftings is music. I have such a passion for it. I love playing music, singing, and writing songs. But this is such a personal gift that the enemy can grab right onto it and fill me with insecurities and doubt in myself and my abilities. This leads me to become discouraged and not pursue music as much as I should. I need to stop letting my insecurities get the best of me and just do it because I like it and it is a passion of mine and a gift God gave me.

This afternoon we went on local outreach. I went to the Old Folks home. Oh how I missed the old people. I chatted with Bruce for most of the time. He was in a surprisingly good mood today! Normally he is super grumpy and it is hard to get him to talk. But today he was a chatterbox and even smiled in a grumpy way! Yay Bruce! He told me a really funny joke: So, this guy walks past this cemetery one night. And he hears some music. So he goes into the cemetary to check it out. But he realizes that the music is playing backwards. So he goes to the source of the music and when he checks under the head-stone he sees Beethoven and he is "De-composing"! Bahaha. Oh Bruce. And another guy named Rex gave Brent, Hannah R and I quite the pep-talk. He said "You guys are so lucky. Back in my day we didn't do it right. But you guys, you can really do it. So just go out there and grab onto it and don't let go. You can really do it. So go get it!" and when we asked what 'it' was he would say, "Now isn't that a good question!" and then would start the pep-talk all over again. Ohhh Rex. What a guy. 

This evening we went back over the hill to Taurunga. We are getting kind of tired of driving all the way there. We are so tired! We need some serious down time! But this famous guy named Sean Feucht was putting on a worship service, so we went to check it out. I am glad we did. It was awesome. Sean is one of the guys that started a thing called "Burn Night". This is basically just a really long worship session. Him and Andy Byrd were reading about David (I think) and how he had musicians that would play music and worship in the temple non-stop for 30 years (I think) and those 30 years were extremely prosperous. So, these guys, Sean and Andy, wondered what would happen if they worshipped and prayed for 24 hours straight. So they tried it, and crazy stuff happened like bars and brothels shut down in the neighbourhood. So now burn night is a big thing and this Sean fellow travels all over the world doing Burns. He is visiting New Zealand and put on a short worship for us. It was awesome. He's a great musician and he was really able to bring us into a place of worship. And then he told some crazy stories about his travels like miraculous healings in Turkey and being saved from gun-point by singing out in tongues in Africa. Crazy stuff. But the message of his talk was that there is a season in your life where you need to dig a well of intimacy with God. In this time you just need to spend time with God and grow in faith and just get to know Him. If you haven't seen anything crazy or had God speak to you yet, don't lose faith. It is just because God is waiting until your well is deep enough, because only then you will be ready for what He has for you. Woah. Love it! I'm so jacked now!

I'm so ready to get up super early and go to prayer. YESSSSSS!

I also was a really bad person and bought two of Sean's books - Fire and Fragrance, and Culture of Revival: a revivalist field manual. And I bought two CDs. Oh man. I am such a splurger. At least the money went to a good cause right? ... and at least it wasn't shoes, right Dad? Bahaha

Special event for the evening... at the Sean Feucht thing Hannah D was wearing her little beanie hat thing that she always wears, and she usually tucks her butt-length curly brown hair into it. But today when she took her beanie off, her hair was chin length! What the crap!?!?!!? Holy moly. She is awesome. And it looks so good! I am pretty sure that all of the girls are going to chop their hair off now... except for Kat. She refuses. And me because I know that I would regret cutting it. But everyone else...

Gute Nacht!