There are three Jesus'. There is the historical Jesus, the personal Jesus, and the King Jesus in all of His Glory. The historical Jesus is the man Jesus that lived in history. He was a carpenter. His earthly parents were Mary and Joseph. He came from Nazareth. He had 12 buddies that he travelled around with. He died on a cross. Et cetera. Anyone and everyone can know this Jesus, and many do. Especially in Western countries, most people know about or have heard of the historical Jesus.
The personal Jesus is a bit different. When we know WHO Jesus is, that he is the way, the truth and the life, then we can cross the bridge from the historical Jesus to the personal Jesus. Many do know this Jesus. They know that he loves them. They receive him. They are believers. But they keep rules out of duty. They go to church on Sunday and do everything 'right' but they will never change the world, and it is likely that their children won't understand Jesus or want to know who he is. This is a private, personal relationship. This person is a lot like Peter.
Our relationship with Jesus should not be private. When we understand and accept the Holy Spirit into our lives, we can cross the bridge from the personal Jesus to the Living King Jesus in all of His Glory! There are few who have met the living Jesus. They are not only believers, they are disciples. They are mature in their obedience to God, and are willing to face persecution and suffering. These people understand that they have free will and they can choose to serve God and choose to follow all of the rules, and they do choose this. They delight in this. This is an absolute surrender to God. These people will change the world. This relationship creates a transformation in you. This is what you were created for! This person is more like Paul. He did not 'know' Jesus personally, but he encountered him and it changed his life! And he changed the world.
Knowing the living Jesus is so hard. I don't know him in this way yet. I know that I will have to give up a lot to know him in this way. And I haven't come to the place where I am willing to fully surrender EVERYTHING. I WANT to, but am not WILLING to. It sucks.
There are three steps we must take in order to fulfill our calling. 1) Follow him (Luke 9: 23-24). Don't ask him to follow you. Don't carry him around in your back pocket until you need him. FOLLOW HIM. 2) Fix your eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12: 1-2). Don't fix your eyes on yourself. Don't focus on all of your weaknesses and your sin. Fix your eyes on God, and he will take care of the rest. 3) Remember your baptism (Romans 6:1). Be a sheep. This is quite fitting in New Zealand.
Fun fact about sheep: There are lots of hills in New Zealand. They are not slowly sloping hills, they are really steep and rounded hills. So, the sheep that live here have to be able to walk around on these steep hills. There is not really much flat land. Just hills. So these sheep, they grow up on hills, and as they grow, the legs on one side become shorter than the legs on the other side in order to adapt to the hilliness. So if you put them on flat land, they fall over. Haha!
When God creates us, he created us with a spirit, a soul and a body. If we didn't have all three of these, we would not be human. Angels have a spirit and a soul, but no body. Animals have a body and a soul, but no spirit.
The spirit is your intuition and your conscience. It is where you can commune/connect with God. Because God is spirit, so he can connect with your spirit. Your spirit gives you identity, value and significance/destiny. (Some scriptures: 1 Cor 2: 9-12; 2 Cor 4:2; Eph 2: 1-4; Titus 1: 15; John 9: 41). Your spirit is KNOWING. As soon as you connect with God in your spirit and know him, you will know yourself. This is where passion and anointing comes from. This is where you find your calling.
The soul is your mind, will and emotions. This is personhood and gives you the ability to relate to other people. (Scriptures: Heb 4: 12-13; 1 Peter 1: 9; Proverbs 23: 7). Your soul is UNDERSTANDING. Your soul is basically your heart, in a non-literal and non-biological sense. This is your personality. This is where you think, make choices, feel emotions and imagine. Whatever you think in your heart/soul is what you will be. The point of your faith is for the salvation of your soul.
The body houses your spirit and soul and requires food and defense. This also gives us the gift of reproduction. The body makes visible the invisible. We were made in the image of God. God is invisible. But we make him visible through our bodies. Our bodies give us the ability to love and serve others. (Scripture: 1 John 2: 16; James 1: 13-15). Your body is SEEING. This is where your spirit and soul come out. So whatever is in your soul will be visible on your body.
Picture this: A column with the spirit at the top, the soul underneath of that and the body on the bottom. God pours in to your spirit, which feeds your soul, which is shown through your body. So when you are open and surrendered to God, this flows naturally. But sometimes there can be a veil placed between the spirit and the soul. This veil can be jealousy, anger, bitterness, lust, etc. And it blocks your spirit from pouring over into your soul. So we need to break off all of the veils so that we can freely hear God and do good.
I would like to apologize to all of you reading this blog right now. I started this blog with the promise that I would be completely honest and open and express my deepest thoughts. But I have realized that I have not been real for the past few weeks. I have been very superficial, just stating the facts but not being honest with myself or you about what I am feeling and thinking deep down. I have let a veil of anger, bitterness, resentment, jealousy, etc. come between my spirit and my soul and blocked myself off from God and from who I truly am.
I have been making jokes in order to ignore my true feelings inside. I thought I dealt with this during heart transplant week with Goldie. But it is back. I am shielding my heart from disappointment by making jokes and not letting my emotions truly be acknowledged in my heart. The truth is that I am mad. I am so mad at God. I feel like he has let me down by sending me to Fiji. I don't want to go there, and he has not given me a heart for Fiji. And I have been angry with him. I have closed myself off from him. I have stopped seeking him out. I have stopped being open to what he is trying to tell me / teach me. I stopped looking to him and have been looking to myself for answers and for help. But I can't do it alone. I need to surrender my pride and surrender my unbelief and submit to his Lordship. But I don't want to. It's a problem. Why am I so stubborn? Norwegian heritage probably. Just kidding. Here I go again making jokes about serious issues. How can I be more like Paul?
Hi Steph! This is Hannah D's mom, & i feel sorta out of place responding to your post; but for some reason, i feel led to; so forgive me if i am out of place.
ReplyDeleteI love reading your posts…you & I are a lot alike. Sometimes i still struggle with selfesteem & fitting in. The more i keep my eyes on Jesus, the less hold it has on me. Sometime that requires reading & writing out lots of scriptures (that’s why I send Hannah those scriptures!)
As i read your post, i thought about how you are a neuroscientist & yet you chose music & worship DTS. & as i thought about how most people are either left- or right-brain, it hit me how you encompass both! That’s a very unique quality & very rare combination!
For some reason, that me think about how most folks have a certain blood type but only one blood type, “0”, is universal. It has the uniqueness of helping everyone, again a rare quality!
I want to encourage you to keep surrendering daily & trusting God's knowledge over your own so that your uniqueness can be used to the fullness it was meant to be. You’ve already figured out how your rare combination of attributes can help maintain a balance among all the different personalities to encourage & lead them. But I think there is even more. I don’t think anyone can pinpoint what it is you will bring to the Fiji team that no one else can provide until you return. Oftentimes, it's only in the looking back that you can see the sovereignty & perfection of God's plan in that moment for that time. Read Esther! She had no idea what God had in store for her. But she did trust God, & through pure, blind obedience & faith, she saved a nation!
I hope you will remember God’s ways are not ours. Many times, we think we know what’s best, but we have to remember that we can’t see the whole picture (which kinda stinks for us type A folks who need the blueprint before we take the first steps!!)
Isaiah 55:8-9 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, & My thoughts than your thoughts.
I can tell that you are an amazing woman of God; & I don’t think it matters whether your outreach is in Fiji or India or Asia…it matters how much of yourself you are willing to let God use wherever you go. You know the saying, “Bloom where you are planted”? I hope you choose to trust Jesus & be the most fragrant garden in Fiji, New Zealand, Canada & wherever else God leads you!
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's masterpiece/workmanship. He has created us anew in Christ, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago [to be our way of life].
How I pray that you do not allow satan to gain any more ground in your life. There is a spiritual battle going on; I pray that you put on the armour of God & fight back! Do not give up; do not give in!
Psalms 91
Delete“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge & my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”
3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
& from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
& under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield & buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
7 A thous& may fall at your side,
& ten thous& at your right h&;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
& see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their h&s they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion & the cobra,
The young lion & the serpent you shall trample underfoot.
14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, [says the Lord],
therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, & I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him & honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
& show him My salvation.
Okay, i’ve written way too much! Please know that we are praying for you as you work out your faith; keep fighting the good fight!