So, I found out today the proper way to spell Babakau. I believe that on my last post I spelled it 'bomacow', because that is how it sounds like 'bomb a cow', but who would have thought that it would not be spelled how it sounds. In Fijian, a 'b' makes an 'mb' sound like in bomb. Ohhhh Fiji language.
I also lied to you about going to the prison. We were going to go today, but some other YWAM team got dibs because they are leaving Fiji before us. So I think we are going next week sometime. Yesterday (Tuesday) we got to work on the new church building. We started scrubbing the walls and the floor within an inch of their lives. There was a lot of grime. We got some chemicals donated for the cleaning extravaganza, and they were supposed to arrive at 10:30 AM (yes Dave, it is at and not for). But they didn't arrive until lunchish time. Ohhhh Fiji time.
Once they finally came, I was kinda sketched out by them. There were no labels on the bottles saying what is in them and no warnings like 'caustic' or 'explosive' or 'flamable' etc. The wall cleaner smelled so much like this chemical called pyridine, that I swear it was pyridine. I worked with pyridine in my organic chemistry lab. It was super dangerous. We had to always keep it in the fume hood so that we wouldn't inhale it, because it is really bad for sperm. If boys inhale it they may lose thier ability to have children. So I will now be praying for Van, Jacob and Dave. Ohhhhh Fiji chemical regulations.
Pastor really doesn't work us too hard. It's quite nice. yesterday we worked until the early afternoon, and broke for some lunch. There was a lot of people there from the church that were helping out too, so it was a good time visiting at lunch. There is this small child named Joy that has been hanging around us. Her parents are friends with the Sumasafu's. The other night she was literally hanging off of Van for the entire evening while he was trying to play with his gameboy. It was really funny because Van is afraid of children. But despite his fear, he is actually really good with them. It's cute.
But at lunch yesterday, Joy decided that she would hang off of Steph. Now, Steph is not really afraid of children so much as they annoy her in large doses. Steph got sort of annoyed. But Sarah and Hannah told me how good of a mom I will be one day. Oh good. Joy's favorite game was jumping from me to Hannah to Van and then back again. Me Hannah and Van didn't love that game so much. Van was actually terrified that she would fall and hurt herself. It was so cute. He will totally be that super cute overprotective dad one day. Ohhhh Fiji children.
I can't remember if I posted about this, but on Monday we went shopping in Lautoka. We got church clothing. Girls got Sulu's and boys got Bula shirts. We look darn good. I also got some sweet hippie pants that I know my mother will be fond of, and an epic 80s jacket for a steal of a deal. Van got the same jacket but in a different colour. Now we will be even more twinsies. Dave is our dad and Sarah is our mom, and Van and I are twins, except he stayed in the womb for 4 more years than me. Sarah carried him around for a LONG TIME. But we are the most beautiful set of twins anyone could ask for. Tall and blonde and such. I don't really know how we were the children of two short people with non-white blonde hair or freckles. But it happened. Ohhhh white twinsies.
We had a fashion show on Monday evening after shopping and showed off our new church clothes. We forced Thomas to watch it. It was hilarious. But I don't think that Tom enjoyed it as much as us. It was so awesome. We had a catwalk and a photographer. Jacob should be a model. He knows how to strike a pose! Ohhhh Fiji modeling.
If you can believe it, that is not the weirdest thing that we have subjected the Sumasafu family to so far. The other night, Van and I were having our voice lesson from Hannah and she had us laying on the floor and breathing with a book on our stomachs, so that when we breathed in we could see the book rise. And we counted to ten on each exhale. It was pretty cute. I think they thought we were really weird. We also learned proper singing posture. You have to really have your shoulders back and chest out, and that way you can sing with your chest voice. It actually makes so much difference!
I had a chance to practice my chest voice last night when we went to a worship thinger majiggor at the Lautoka hotel. A guy from Hawaii is speaking here for 3 nights. Tonight will be the last night. The worship part was super awesome. The talk he gave was really boring. I had difficulty listening to him. But he had two kids from his youth group give little sermonettes. They were 15 and sounded like professional speakers. He should have just let them speak the whole time. And the AC was SO COLD. It was uncomfortable and distracting. Also, it was actually really funny when we walked in to the room at the beginning. We were the only white people in the room, and we were dressed in our church clothes so we looked like obnoxious tourists. It was awkward. Later I observed that Van and I were the only blond people in the entire room. I felt like I was in the 60s in the South in a black church. Ohhhh Fiji skin colour!
I'm actually really curious about the history of Fiji. Because they have the queen on their money, like Canada and New Zealand and Belize. I think that it used to be a british colony perhaps. There are lots of Indian people here (From India), and lots of people with African heritage, and then more polonesian looking folks, but no white people. I think that the British must have brought slaves when they colonized, and that the African slaves mixed with the native people, but I don't know why so much of the population is Indian. Curious. Ohhh Fiji heritage.
Auntie has been feeding me well. There is lots of deliscious rice, lots of pineapple and various other things. Oatmeal and peanut butter for breakfast. Mmmmmm. I am going to get fat. Did I tell you that Van and I are competing to see who can get fatter by the end of outreach? I am going to win.
Anyways, this morning we cleaned more walls and started painting. I get to paint a mural of the world map on one of the walls. I am super pumped! I don't know what we are doing for the rest of the week, but it will probably be awesome.
I was reading the book 'Culture of Revolution' by Sean Feucht and another guy. It was talking about intimacy with Jesus. And how we were created to be intimate with God and to walk with him in the shade of the garden. And how the garden of Eden was a paradise created for this intimacy. Paradise, now is a place that people escape to to find intimacy with God. I am in Fiji right now. AKA paradise. I am so blessed to be staying with such a loving family in such a beautiful tropical island paradise. I had the revelation that maybe the reason I am here is not so much for hard work and to make a huge impact on others by pouring myself out on them (which is what I had wanted/invisioned when I thought about an outreach mission trip), but it is actually God pouring his love into me through the Sumasafu family while in paradise. So that I can get a firm foundation of intimacy with God, so that I can be one of the virgins with the oil of intimacy in reserve for the arrival of the bridegroom. And once I build that foundation, then I will be able to serve others fully without draining myself. Cool!
Also, we found an internet cafe with 1 hour of internet for 50 cents. Score! And we all managed to get on facebook this time! Ohhhh Fiji internet.
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
Sunday, 25 November 2012
Bula from Lautoka, Fiji
On Saturday morning we woke up literally at the crack of dawn, ate some breaky and were on our way to Fiji. We had a lovely 2 hour drive to the airport in Aukland. Jacob had quite a nice nap on Van's shoulder. It was cute. I, on the other hand, was very uncomfortable in the middle seat of the front bench in the crapola van and there was a metal bar under my right but cheek so I was tilted to the left and every bump we hit hurt a lot. I didn't get to nap in the van, which was my plan after very minimal sleep the night before.
Friday night the Asia team was leaving at 1 AM from the base, so a bunch of us stayed up to see them off. We hung out in the GAP and ate lots of junk food. Schnegg had bought some pink and white marshmallows that were gluten free, so that was pretty exciting. At one point, I was laying on the couch and Marit was sitting on my legs, Noemi on my hip area, and Kiwi Hannah on my chest. I was fine until Hannah came. Then I could no longer breath. And that is one of my last memories of Hannah :( It was so sad to say goodbye to my fellow blond in the back. I will miss her muchly!
At 5:30AM the Fiji teams were departing, so India came to say goodbye. I was so sad to say goodbye to Marit and Schnegg!!! I will miss them so much!!!
At the airport I had two soy lattes just incase I won't be able to have another one until I return to New Zealand at the end of December. The flight was short. Only 3 hours. I watched Parks and Recreation (Yeahhhh Matt!) and I watched 30 Rock and Community. It was so wonderful to finally watch TV again. I wish that our flight was longer so that I could watch more TV!!!!
Fiji is really nice. I was dreading the heat because I thought that it would be like Belize. In belize it was about 40 degrees with 100 percent humidity every day and over night it would cool down to 30. I was constantly drenched in my own sweat to the point that I always looked like I had just showered. I thought Fiji would be like that, but it's not! It is only 30 ish in the day with 100 percent humidity. So I only am drenched in sweat when I move. It is quite nice. I just need to sit still for the rest of my time here.
We are staying with Pastor Jare and his family, which is Dan from my DTS's family. They are hilariously awesome. Dan has two sisters and a little bro. And each one of his siblings is just like Dan, but in different ways. His little brother is literally a mini Dan with a LOT more energy. The family is so nice and welcoming and we have been constantly fed since we got here. Now I know why teams usually gain 20 pounds while they are here! Van and I are going to have a competition to see who can get fatter. I think I will win, mostly because I am a girl.
Auntie makes really good bomacow, which is basically fried bread dough. I ate some even though I am not supposed to. It was so worth it. (I say that now, but I won't be saying that when I am out with a migraine for a few days). Van is going to beat the current record of bomacows eaten in one sitting. The record is 21 which is outrageous. Because they are pretty big, like maybe the size of two longjohn donuts.
Yesterday morning we went to church. There was air conditioning. Glorious. It was a really awesome service. Pastor Jare is really cool. He just got a new building for the church, so our job for the next week will be fixing it up, and then church will be there on Sunday! It's really exciting. We went to see the building yesterday afternoon and had a little worship sesh. It was really cool and I got to be one of the first people prayed for there! Awe yeah!
After that... you guessed it!!! Foood! We sat outside and ate with a bunch of people from the church. We sat on a bamboo mat and had the most epic jam session ever. We sang worship songs, and improv songs and raps. It was good. The best song/rap was about bomacow. The words were: Bomacow, bomacow, bomacow, bom bomacow. etc.
Here, a bathroom is not the place with the toilet in it, but the place where you bathe/wash yourself. The toilet place is called a toilet. Go figure. I had to learn how to use the bathroom. There is a big bucket filled with water in a small room. And you use a smaller bucket to dump water over yourself. And you just let the water land on the floor. It's pretty awesome. I have showered twice so far. But Dave has not. He smells. Yuck. I am sitting beside him now. I think I might pass out.
We have mosquito nets to sleep in, although I am not sure why. There are hardly any bugs at all. But the nets make our beds look like princess beds. I have a baby pink one. Aweeee.
There has been a bit of a change of plans for what we will be doing here. We thought that we would be doing a lot of door knocking and street evangelism, which I was not excited for. But it turns out we will be doing new things! Pastor wants us to really focus on the youth and on rejuvinating the Church throught the youth. So that will be fun. Tomorrow we get to go to a prison. A men's prison. And talk to them about Jesus, maybe do some testimonies and a skit. Should be pretty intense! I am excited for that.
Friday night the Asia team was leaving at 1 AM from the base, so a bunch of us stayed up to see them off. We hung out in the GAP and ate lots of junk food. Schnegg had bought some pink and white marshmallows that were gluten free, so that was pretty exciting. At one point, I was laying on the couch and Marit was sitting on my legs, Noemi on my hip area, and Kiwi Hannah on my chest. I was fine until Hannah came. Then I could no longer breath. And that is one of my last memories of Hannah :( It was so sad to say goodbye to my fellow blond in the back. I will miss her muchly!
At 5:30AM the Fiji teams were departing, so India came to say goodbye. I was so sad to say goodbye to Marit and Schnegg!!! I will miss them so much!!!
At the airport I had two soy lattes just incase I won't be able to have another one until I return to New Zealand at the end of December. The flight was short. Only 3 hours. I watched Parks and Recreation (Yeahhhh Matt!) and I watched 30 Rock and Community. It was so wonderful to finally watch TV again. I wish that our flight was longer so that I could watch more TV!!!!
Fiji is really nice. I was dreading the heat because I thought that it would be like Belize. In belize it was about 40 degrees with 100 percent humidity every day and over night it would cool down to 30. I was constantly drenched in my own sweat to the point that I always looked like I had just showered. I thought Fiji would be like that, but it's not! It is only 30 ish in the day with 100 percent humidity. So I only am drenched in sweat when I move. It is quite nice. I just need to sit still for the rest of my time here.
We are staying with Pastor Jare and his family, which is Dan from my DTS's family. They are hilariously awesome. Dan has two sisters and a little bro. And each one of his siblings is just like Dan, but in different ways. His little brother is literally a mini Dan with a LOT more energy. The family is so nice and welcoming and we have been constantly fed since we got here. Now I know why teams usually gain 20 pounds while they are here! Van and I are going to have a competition to see who can get fatter. I think I will win, mostly because I am a girl.
Auntie makes really good bomacow, which is basically fried bread dough. I ate some even though I am not supposed to. It was so worth it. (I say that now, but I won't be saying that when I am out with a migraine for a few days). Van is going to beat the current record of bomacows eaten in one sitting. The record is 21 which is outrageous. Because they are pretty big, like maybe the size of two longjohn donuts.
Yesterday morning we went to church. There was air conditioning. Glorious. It was a really awesome service. Pastor Jare is really cool. He just got a new building for the church, so our job for the next week will be fixing it up, and then church will be there on Sunday! It's really exciting. We went to see the building yesterday afternoon and had a little worship sesh. It was really cool and I got to be one of the first people prayed for there! Awe yeah!
After that... you guessed it!!! Foood! We sat outside and ate with a bunch of people from the church. We sat on a bamboo mat and had the most epic jam session ever. We sang worship songs, and improv songs and raps. It was good. The best song/rap was about bomacow. The words were: Bomacow, bomacow, bomacow, bom bomacow. etc.
Here, a bathroom is not the place with the toilet in it, but the place where you bathe/wash yourself. The toilet place is called a toilet. Go figure. I had to learn how to use the bathroom. There is a big bucket filled with water in a small room. And you use a smaller bucket to dump water over yourself. And you just let the water land on the floor. It's pretty awesome. I have showered twice so far. But Dave has not. He smells. Yuck. I am sitting beside him now. I think I might pass out.
We have mosquito nets to sleep in, although I am not sure why. There are hardly any bugs at all. But the nets make our beds look like princess beds. I have a baby pink one. Aweeee.
There has been a bit of a change of plans for what we will be doing here. We thought that we would be doing a lot of door knocking and street evangelism, which I was not excited for. But it turns out we will be doing new things! Pastor wants us to really focus on the youth and on rejuvinating the Church throught the youth. So that will be fun. Tomorrow we get to go to a prison. A men's prison. And talk to them about Jesus, maybe do some testimonies and a skit. Should be pretty intense! I am excited for that.
Thursday, 22 November 2012
HelloGoodbye
As I was thinking of a title for this post, I was reminded of the band HelloGoodbye. They have a song called 'Here in your arms' (HelloGoodbye). I then watched the video on YouTube and it reminded me of 2008 and those lovely afternoons that the dream team would spend together driving around A-town like the cool kids do. Ohhh the days of pop music and Kayla's truck or Jenn's Ford Focus or the yellow sunfire. Awe yeah. It makes me lethargic thinking about it. Hmmmm. I thought that lethargic would be a good word in that sentence, but I just looked up what it actually means and it means sluggish or tired. That is not really what I was going for, but I'll just go with it.
Today is Friday November 23, 2012. Do you know what that means? That means that I am leaving for Fiji tomorrow. Yikes. Time flies. So fast. It seems like it was just yesterday that I got on a plane in Canada and flew to the ends of the earth. It has already been 3 months! I am truthfully so sad that lectures are done. I actually really love learning, as long as I don't get tested on the subject matter, so the DTS lectures were so perfect. But the saddest part is that I love everyone here so much and I will miss them when we all get split up for outreach! I don't get to be on an outreach team with anyone from my cottage :( and I love my cottage girls so much! I have them trained so well - they are now perfectly ok with various things such as peeing with the door open or farting, etc. You know how it is. But actually, my outreach team is pretty good at farting too. I won't name any names, but last night at our outreach prep meeting someone farted pretty much constantly the whole time. And it was not the silent sneaky kind, it was the kind that you can't miss.
But I will miss my roomies so much! Kat and Anne were the best. They were so tolerant of my massive explosion mess all over our room. Anne never complained until the other day when I decided to cut my fingernails on the floor because I was gonna vacuum anyways. She put her foot down and made me use the garbage can. That was probably wise since I haven't vacuumed yet.
And I will miss my ladies in the other room - Marit and Noemi and Kiwi Hannah. It will be so sad not being able to bring my mess into their room anymore! And I will miss our late-night chats and pigging out on junk food with them! I actually can't think about it anymore or I will cry. And of course I will miss my Schneggles too! Je t'aime!
Today was an awesome day actually. We had a cottage slumber party last night and we all slept in one room, so it was really weird waking up in the other room in Noemi's bed. But it was a good way to start the day! I was so greasy though. I have been putting off showering for a few days, and I have been wearing the same clothes for about 3 days, and I've been sleeping in them too. So I was pretty gross. But I didn't want to dirty my clean clothes before packing. So I made it through. But I think I was kinda stinky.
For worship this morning, each of the Mus-oh's got to pick one worship song and lead it. I chose one of my songs which is about God's song. It says that 'Your song is like a rainbow, a promise here to stay. ROY G BIV sings Your love song, and takes my fears away.' I thought those lyrics were pretty clever. Except none of the Europeans know what ROY G BIV is. But all the North Americans got it :) For those of you who don't know, ROY G BIV stands for the colours of the rainbow. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet.
Other than that the rest of the day consisted of cleaning and packing and such things. I managed to fit in a run. It was super awesome! At dinner, Carly came and grabbed Hannah and me and we had a picnic on a blanket with flowers and champagne glasses (with water in them, relax!). It was so cute. She even had hummus and rice crackers for an appy. It was so lovely. Johanna gave me an envelope that says not to open it until I am on the plane!! I can't wait! I am so intrigued. I wonder what it says...
I have had my hair short for a week now, but every day I discover something new and exciting and awesome about short hair! First of all, when it is hot outside short hair is so nice! Normally when it gets a bit hot I have to put a ponytail in. The past few days it has been scorching and I have not had the urge to ponytail my hair once. The breeze just blows up in it and swooshes it around and you get refreshing cool air all up in your face and head. So awesome. Yesterday we rode in the van. I had a ponytail (a cute little tiny ponytail), and we went over a speed bump and it bounced. It was so fun. My hair also holds it's curls a lot better when it is short, and it is bouncy. So when I run it bounces and is really fun. And Kat and I just rocked out to 'Here in your arms' and my hair had lots of fun. LOVE IT!
Today I looked at myself more closely that usual in the mirror. I realized that I had SO MUCH plaque between my lower front teeth. It looked like the grout between tiles - the plaque was the grout and my teeth were the tiles. It was so nasty. So I had a really big flossing party and now my teeth feel like they can breath again.
While I was packing up my stuff, I found my really attractive toque/scarf/mittens thing that looks like an asian bear crossed with an asian cat. I couldn't fit it in any of my bags so I gave it to Kyle because I know he loves it so much. His team now has to take that toque everywhere with them and take pictures with it at all of the fun places they go! I'm pretty excited. It will be like I am there with them!
It is weird to think that tomorrow at this time I will be in Fiji. It is only a 3 hour flight. So that's a bonus I guess. I am pretty excited to meet Dan's family. They sound like they are pretty awesome! But I am a bit scared of the Fijian men. I am tall and blonde. And apparently they like to flip skirts up and grab women inappropriately in the street. I am pretty sure that if any man touches me I will drop kick him. That'll show him. But seriously. I am white, and I am significantly taller than all of the other girls on my team, and I am significantly blonder than all of the other girls too. I feel that this could potentially be a problem.
Usually when teams go to Fiji they gain about 20 pounds each because you get fed so much there, because Fijians are super hospitable and love to feed you lots of foods. So I was thinking that maybe I could just get fat while I'm there and then the men probably wouldn't like me so much anymore. But then I was thinking... maybe they will be like the men in Belize.
The Creole men in Belize love big women, or curvaceous women. I would consider myself quite big (tall) and also pretty curvy. This was not ideal when not wanting to attract attention from the male gender in Belize. They liked to call out to you as you walked by and say "Yeah Baby, you is a juicy mango! Mmmmm." And they rated your attractiveness based on how juicy you would be if you were a mango. So the stick thin girls really wouldn't be that yummy of a mango to eat, so they were not as attractive to these men. I have a feeling that the guys in Fiji will be kinda like this...
But Van has been assigned as the protector of the women. And if any man touches me then Van will beat him up. I was also planning on finding a ring for my ring finger and pretending to be married. But maybe that wouldn't stop them. I don't know... I guess I will find out tomorrow!
I am really hoping that I don't get fat in Fiji though. I asked Schnegg if he would still love me if I got fat in Fiji... he ignored the question and changed the subject. Enough said. I guess I can't get fat or else he will break up with me... again.
Anyways, I will be in Fiji until December 26. But I will have internet access there because there are lots of internet cafe's where we are going. So I will likely be able to post a blog periodically throughout my time in Fiji! Wish me luck! And a Merry Tropical Christmas. It will be so weird, and I will hate it. But luckily Emily mailed me some paper snowflakes. I will hang them up in Fiji, because I'm dreamin' of a white Christmas!
Today is Friday November 23, 2012. Do you know what that means? That means that I am leaving for Fiji tomorrow. Yikes. Time flies. So fast. It seems like it was just yesterday that I got on a plane in Canada and flew to the ends of the earth. It has already been 3 months! I am truthfully so sad that lectures are done. I actually really love learning, as long as I don't get tested on the subject matter, so the DTS lectures were so perfect. But the saddest part is that I love everyone here so much and I will miss them when we all get split up for outreach! I don't get to be on an outreach team with anyone from my cottage :( and I love my cottage girls so much! I have them trained so well - they are now perfectly ok with various things such as peeing with the door open or farting, etc. You know how it is. But actually, my outreach team is pretty good at farting too. I won't name any names, but last night at our outreach prep meeting someone farted pretty much constantly the whole time. And it was not the silent sneaky kind, it was the kind that you can't miss.
But I will miss my roomies so much! Kat and Anne were the best. They were so tolerant of my massive explosion mess all over our room. Anne never complained until the other day when I decided to cut my fingernails on the floor because I was gonna vacuum anyways. She put her foot down and made me use the garbage can. That was probably wise since I haven't vacuumed yet.
And I will miss my ladies in the other room - Marit and Noemi and Kiwi Hannah. It will be so sad not being able to bring my mess into their room anymore! And I will miss our late-night chats and pigging out on junk food with them! I actually can't think about it anymore or I will cry. And of course I will miss my Schneggles too! Je t'aime!
Today was an awesome day actually. We had a cottage slumber party last night and we all slept in one room, so it was really weird waking up in the other room in Noemi's bed. But it was a good way to start the day! I was so greasy though. I have been putting off showering for a few days, and I have been wearing the same clothes for about 3 days, and I've been sleeping in them too. So I was pretty gross. But I didn't want to dirty my clean clothes before packing. So I made it through. But I think I was kinda stinky.
For worship this morning, each of the Mus-oh's got to pick one worship song and lead it. I chose one of my songs which is about God's song. It says that 'Your song is like a rainbow, a promise here to stay. ROY G BIV sings Your love song, and takes my fears away.' I thought those lyrics were pretty clever. Except none of the Europeans know what ROY G BIV is. But all the North Americans got it :) For those of you who don't know, ROY G BIV stands for the colours of the rainbow. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet.
Other than that the rest of the day consisted of cleaning and packing and such things. I managed to fit in a run. It was super awesome! At dinner, Carly came and grabbed Hannah and me and we had a picnic on a blanket with flowers and champagne glasses (with water in them, relax!). It was so cute. She even had hummus and rice crackers for an appy. It was so lovely. Johanna gave me an envelope that says not to open it until I am on the plane!! I can't wait! I am so intrigued. I wonder what it says...
I have had my hair short for a week now, but every day I discover something new and exciting and awesome about short hair! First of all, when it is hot outside short hair is so nice! Normally when it gets a bit hot I have to put a ponytail in. The past few days it has been scorching and I have not had the urge to ponytail my hair once. The breeze just blows up in it and swooshes it around and you get refreshing cool air all up in your face and head. So awesome. Yesterday we rode in the van. I had a ponytail (a cute little tiny ponytail), and we went over a speed bump and it bounced. It was so fun. My hair also holds it's curls a lot better when it is short, and it is bouncy. So when I run it bounces and is really fun. And Kat and I just rocked out to 'Here in your arms' and my hair had lots of fun. LOVE IT!
Today I looked at myself more closely that usual in the mirror. I realized that I had SO MUCH plaque between my lower front teeth. It looked like the grout between tiles - the plaque was the grout and my teeth were the tiles. It was so nasty. So I had a really big flossing party and now my teeth feel like they can breath again.
While I was packing up my stuff, I found my really attractive toque/scarf/mittens thing that looks like an asian bear crossed with an asian cat. I couldn't fit it in any of my bags so I gave it to Kyle because I know he loves it so much. His team now has to take that toque everywhere with them and take pictures with it at all of the fun places they go! I'm pretty excited. It will be like I am there with them!
It is weird to think that tomorrow at this time I will be in Fiji. It is only a 3 hour flight. So that's a bonus I guess. I am pretty excited to meet Dan's family. They sound like they are pretty awesome! But I am a bit scared of the Fijian men. I am tall and blonde. And apparently they like to flip skirts up and grab women inappropriately in the street. I am pretty sure that if any man touches me I will drop kick him. That'll show him. But seriously. I am white, and I am significantly taller than all of the other girls on my team, and I am significantly blonder than all of the other girls too. I feel that this could potentially be a problem.
Usually when teams go to Fiji they gain about 20 pounds each because you get fed so much there, because Fijians are super hospitable and love to feed you lots of foods. So I was thinking that maybe I could just get fat while I'm there and then the men probably wouldn't like me so much anymore. But then I was thinking... maybe they will be like the men in Belize.
The Creole men in Belize love big women, or curvaceous women. I would consider myself quite big (tall) and also pretty curvy. This was not ideal when not wanting to attract attention from the male gender in Belize. They liked to call out to you as you walked by and say "Yeah Baby, you is a juicy mango! Mmmmm." And they rated your attractiveness based on how juicy you would be if you were a mango. So the stick thin girls really wouldn't be that yummy of a mango to eat, so they were not as attractive to these men. I have a feeling that the guys in Fiji will be kinda like this...
But Van has been assigned as the protector of the women. And if any man touches me then Van will beat him up. I was also planning on finding a ring for my ring finger and pretending to be married. But maybe that wouldn't stop them. I don't know... I guess I will find out tomorrow!
I am really hoping that I don't get fat in Fiji though. I asked Schnegg if he would still love me if I got fat in Fiji... he ignored the question and changed the subject. Enough said. I guess I can't get fat or else he will break up with me... again.
Anyways, I will be in Fiji until December 26. But I will have internet access there because there are lots of internet cafe's where we are going. So I will likely be able to post a blog periodically throughout my time in Fiji! Wish me luck! And a Merry Tropical Christmas. It will be so weird, and I will hate it. But luckily Emily mailed me some paper snowflakes. I will hang them up in Fiji, because I'm dreamin' of a white Christmas!
I feel like I forgot something...
Do you ever get that feeling that you have forgotten something, but you just can't quite figure out what it is. Well I had that last night. I packed a lot yesterday and did lots of sorting through of my stuff, I made piles for the Fiji portion of outreach and the New Zealand portion, and stuff that I don't need for outreach. I did all of my laundry yesterday. It was 4 loads. My clothes took up the entire line at the back of our cottage, plus a load in the dryer. It was an intense amount of laundry. After sorting and such before bed, I was ready to sleep but I felt like I had forgotten something. I couldn't figure out what it was though. It turns out there were actually 2 things that I had forgotten.
The first was that I had forgotten to write my blog. I think that was the first time that I actually forgot to write it.
This morning at 6, Sarah came in and woke me up. I said "CRAP!" Our outreach team was meeting for an early prayer before breakfast from 6 to 7:30. I completely forgot. So I jumped out of bed, realized that I was not wearing pants. Found some pants. Grabbed my bible and ran out the door. I think I may have accidentally slammed it. Ooops. Then I started sprinting to the A frame. And Hannah D poked her head out of the prayer room door. Apparently we were praying in the prayer room. Who would have guessed?
So I turned around and went to the prayer room. Hannah started laughing at my face. I had white blotches of acne cream all over my face. My entire chin was white. I had some white dots on my cheeks and a white cross between my eyebrows. Embarrassing. Sarah asked if I anointed myself with acne cream every night before bed. No, but apparently my acne is in the shape of a cross... probably from anointing oil that is constantly put on my forehead. Hannah tried to wash the white off with her saliva. It didn't work, so I just left it for the whole hour and a half. I saw Van snickering.
Then we decided to walk to breakfast together as a team, but Aleisha had to go to Kids Club this morning. So luckily Brent was on his way to breakfast too, so he took Leish's place. He even gave himself a gimped arm (Leish has a broken hand), and a hunchback and a limp to make himself more like Leish. I don't know when or where Leish picked up a limp or became a hunchback. But it was pretty funny.
To conclude missions week, we basically just got really pumped about missions in the world. Missions are so important since the great commission tells us to spread the gospel to the ends of the earth! There are something like 2.1 billion Christians in the world and there are about 7 million people on the Earth. So if each Christian told 3 people about Jesus, the whole world would know. Craziness. Yet the whole world is yet to hear of Jesus.
My outreach team is apparently 'favoured' because we have had all of our funds in for over a week, and other teams are still waiting to have all of the money.... and some of them leave Saturday morning at 1 AM. Bahh! But it will come :)
Today was a beautiful day. It was nice and warm and sunny and we just packed and packed and got the odds and ends that we need in town before we leave.
I took my nose rings out for the first time in years, because I need to change the hoops for studs. It was so weird when I took them out. I finally was able to pick my nose in a satisfying fashion. And the inside of my nose which has been covered by the rings for years was so itchy. I just sat with my finger up my nose scratching for a while. It was nice. Then I put some studs in. I don't like them. I want my rings back. I can't wait until after outreach :P
My cottage is having a partay for our last night together tonight! we have tons of food and we are gonna sleep all in one room! So I gotta go get my party on!
The first was that I had forgotten to write my blog. I think that was the first time that I actually forgot to write it.
This morning at 6, Sarah came in and woke me up. I said "CRAP!" Our outreach team was meeting for an early prayer before breakfast from 6 to 7:30. I completely forgot. So I jumped out of bed, realized that I was not wearing pants. Found some pants. Grabbed my bible and ran out the door. I think I may have accidentally slammed it. Ooops. Then I started sprinting to the A frame. And Hannah D poked her head out of the prayer room door. Apparently we were praying in the prayer room. Who would have guessed?
So I turned around and went to the prayer room. Hannah started laughing at my face. I had white blotches of acne cream all over my face. My entire chin was white. I had some white dots on my cheeks and a white cross between my eyebrows. Embarrassing. Sarah asked if I anointed myself with acne cream every night before bed. No, but apparently my acne is in the shape of a cross... probably from anointing oil that is constantly put on my forehead. Hannah tried to wash the white off with her saliva. It didn't work, so I just left it for the whole hour and a half. I saw Van snickering.
Then we decided to walk to breakfast together as a team, but Aleisha had to go to Kids Club this morning. So luckily Brent was on his way to breakfast too, so he took Leish's place. He even gave himself a gimped arm (Leish has a broken hand), and a hunchback and a limp to make himself more like Leish. I don't know when or where Leish picked up a limp or became a hunchback. But it was pretty funny.
To conclude missions week, we basically just got really pumped about missions in the world. Missions are so important since the great commission tells us to spread the gospel to the ends of the earth! There are something like 2.1 billion Christians in the world and there are about 7 million people on the Earth. So if each Christian told 3 people about Jesus, the whole world would know. Craziness. Yet the whole world is yet to hear of Jesus.
My outreach team is apparently 'favoured' because we have had all of our funds in for over a week, and other teams are still waiting to have all of the money.... and some of them leave Saturday morning at 1 AM. Bahh! But it will come :)
Today was a beautiful day. It was nice and warm and sunny and we just packed and packed and got the odds and ends that we need in town before we leave.
I took my nose rings out for the first time in years, because I need to change the hoops for studs. It was so weird when I took them out. I finally was able to pick my nose in a satisfying fashion. And the inside of my nose which has been covered by the rings for years was so itchy. I just sat with my finger up my nose scratching for a while. It was nice. Then I put some studs in. I don't like them. I want my rings back. I can't wait until after outreach :P
My cottage is having a partay for our last night together tonight! we have tons of food and we are gonna sleep all in one room! So I gotta go get my party on!
Tuesday, 20 November 2012
Weeding on an 85 Degree slope is fun.
Ohhhh Tuesday. This morning after breakfast we had a worship practice for open meeting this evening. Henk was leading and guitaring, Jacob was keysing, Kat was singing, Van was making too much noise on the box drum and Steph was assigned to sing, but nothing else. Eeeek. Um... Steph doesn't sing. Well she does, but she doesn't do it well and she is very aware of that fact. If she ever does sing, she likes to hold a guitar to shield herself a little bit. Her guitar is there to comfort her and support her. So Steph was a little stressed out. And then she found out that she had never heard the majority of the songs before. She had only heard two, and doesn't really know them well. Ok. This is scary. So she decided to get an egg shaker as a distraction from the reality of being a singer. It was nice.
Anyways. During practice, Van was banging on the drum and every bang he made I could feel inside of my head it was like he was actually hitting the inside of my skull and not the drum. I managed to make it through practice, and went back to bed to escape the pain. I slept until 2.
When I woke up I felt a bit better and decided that maybe I should be a good person and contribute to work program. I hate work program. I have spent most work programs weeding the never ending supply of weeds. I got to bake 2 times and clean ceilings once (which was worse than weeding), and I think the rest of the times were spent weeding. Guess what I got to do today! Weed! But it was no ordinary weeding, it was weeding on steroids. Steroids being a hill with an incline as close to 90 degrees as possible. If it was any more inclined it would be considered a cliff and not a hill. I should have stayed in bed.
Hmmm. I don't really have much else to report on from today. It really cuts down on your supply of daily events when you sleep for half of the day... I guess I am a bit sad because I had to miss out on lectures this morning, so I didn't really get to learn anything new today - except for how to pull weeds out of the ground and not fall backwards down the hill.
I am leaving for Fiji on Saturday morning. We are leaving at 5:30 am and driving two hours to Aukland and our flight is at 11:00 am, I think. To Fijiiiiiiiiii! Crazy. I am not really ready yet. I still have to do laundry and pack. Eeeeeek. I guess on the bright side I don't really need to pack much.. just a pair of shorts or two, a couple tshirts a few undies some jandles (flip-flops) and soap and toiletry items, stuff of the journalling and bibling nature and that's about it. Should be a pretty light bag I think.
I am the scribe for my team, which means that I basically keep the journal for my team. So I am trying to be organized, but that is a really hard thing for me. But my lovely team leaders went into town today and got the stuff for the team journal. It was so nice of them. I was supposed to get it, but I just told them what I needed and they got it. Talk about good service.
In other news, I read on Hannah D's facebook wall that she is fasting from her voice. I was thinking that it was kind of odd that I had not heard from her all day. Normally I hear from her all day. I thought maybe it was because I slept for most of the day, but normally that probably wouldn't make a difference!!! I am proud of her, but I miss her voice. I never thought I would say that. But I do. :P
Anyways. During practice, Van was banging on the drum and every bang he made I could feel inside of my head it was like he was actually hitting the inside of my skull and not the drum. I managed to make it through practice, and went back to bed to escape the pain. I slept until 2.
When I woke up I felt a bit better and decided that maybe I should be a good person and contribute to work program. I hate work program. I have spent most work programs weeding the never ending supply of weeds. I got to bake 2 times and clean ceilings once (which was worse than weeding), and I think the rest of the times were spent weeding. Guess what I got to do today! Weed! But it was no ordinary weeding, it was weeding on steroids. Steroids being a hill with an incline as close to 90 degrees as possible. If it was any more inclined it would be considered a cliff and not a hill. I should have stayed in bed.
Hmmm. I don't really have much else to report on from today. It really cuts down on your supply of daily events when you sleep for half of the day... I guess I am a bit sad because I had to miss out on lectures this morning, so I didn't really get to learn anything new today - except for how to pull weeds out of the ground and not fall backwards down the hill.
I am leaving for Fiji on Saturday morning. We are leaving at 5:30 am and driving two hours to Aukland and our flight is at 11:00 am, I think. To Fijiiiiiiiiii! Crazy. I am not really ready yet. I still have to do laundry and pack. Eeeeeek. I guess on the bright side I don't really need to pack much.. just a pair of shorts or two, a couple tshirts a few undies some jandles (flip-flops) and soap and toiletry items, stuff of the journalling and bibling nature and that's about it. Should be a pretty light bag I think.
I am the scribe for my team, which means that I basically keep the journal for my team. So I am trying to be organized, but that is a really hard thing for me. But my lovely team leaders went into town today and got the stuff for the team journal. It was so nice of them. I was supposed to get it, but I just told them what I needed and they got it. Talk about good service.
In other news, I read on Hannah D's facebook wall that she is fasting from her voice. I was thinking that it was kind of odd that I had not heard from her all day. Normally I hear from her all day. I thought maybe it was because I slept for most of the day, but normally that probably wouldn't make a difference!!! I am proud of her, but I miss her voice. I never thought I would say that. But I do. :P
Monday, 19 November 2012
5 Sleeps to Lift Off!!!
This week is about Missions. One of the guys that is staff at our base is the speaker. It was pretty interesting. He is definitely pumped about missions and was making me feel pretty excited too. I wonder what a life as a missionary would look like... SCARY. But probably pretty cool.
Today I decided that I had no more allergies so I ate normal people food. After lunch I had major bowel issues and after finishing my homework I spent the afternoon in bed. So much for being healed. Oh well. I got to eat some Swiss chocolate finally. It was totally worth it! I think I might have to move to Schnegg's house and eat chocolate for a living. That sounds nice.
Marit is super funny and for some reason can't ever tell if it is warm enough to wear shorts. Every time that I have worn shorts, she always looks at me and asks "Is it warm enough for shorts?" Usually we are outside when she asks this question. I always think it is really weird because you would think she could tell by standing outside that it is warm enough for shorts. But I guess she needs verbal confirmation and not just visual confirmation by the other people wearing shorts. Today while we were working on our CIRs, Schnegg was wearing shorts. Marit asked him "Is it warm enough for shorts?" and he just said "Yeah." and I finally got up the courage to ask her why she always asks people that question when they wear shorts. She said "Because my mommy isn't here to tell me if it is warm enough for shorts." She was dead serious. It was not a sarcastic remark. It was serious. SO FUNNY! We had a good laugh.
Anyways, my migraine was so lovely that I took some Tylenol 3 with Codeine. It was quite nice. I don't really remember much, but I do remember a warm fuzzy feeling and waking up at 7 PM with drool on my face. Then I went to our outreach prep meeting. We learned a few skits. One of them is called 'Ropes'. It is super powerful. Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1qwpqpY9vE
I get to be the drug addict. Fitting since I was on codeine when we learned it. I was a bit out of it, so hopefully I remember tomorrow. That is about all that happened today. It was not overly eventful. We are leaving for Fiji on Saturday morning so I have to clean my room, do laundry, pack, read a book, write a book report and another CIR entry etc. before then. It isn't going to fast because I keep on having migraines. So please pray for my pain to leave me alone!!! Thanks guys!
Today I decided that I had no more allergies so I ate normal people food. After lunch I had major bowel issues and after finishing my homework I spent the afternoon in bed. So much for being healed. Oh well. I got to eat some Swiss chocolate finally. It was totally worth it! I think I might have to move to Schnegg's house and eat chocolate for a living. That sounds nice.
Marit is super funny and for some reason can't ever tell if it is warm enough to wear shorts. Every time that I have worn shorts, she always looks at me and asks "Is it warm enough for shorts?" Usually we are outside when she asks this question. I always think it is really weird because you would think she could tell by standing outside that it is warm enough for shorts. But I guess she needs verbal confirmation and not just visual confirmation by the other people wearing shorts. Today while we were working on our CIRs, Schnegg was wearing shorts. Marit asked him "Is it warm enough for shorts?" and he just said "Yeah." and I finally got up the courage to ask her why she always asks people that question when they wear shorts. She said "Because my mommy isn't here to tell me if it is warm enough for shorts." She was dead serious. It was not a sarcastic remark. It was serious. SO FUNNY! We had a good laugh.
Anyways, my migraine was so lovely that I took some Tylenol 3 with Codeine. It was quite nice. I don't really remember much, but I do remember a warm fuzzy feeling and waking up at 7 PM with drool on my face. Then I went to our outreach prep meeting. We learned a few skits. One of them is called 'Ropes'. It is super powerful. Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1qwpqpY9vE
I get to be the drug addict. Fitting since I was on codeine when we learned it. I was a bit out of it, so hopefully I remember tomorrow. That is about all that happened today. It was not overly eventful. We are leaving for Fiji on Saturday morning so I have to clean my room, do laundry, pack, read a book, write a book report and another CIR entry etc. before then. It isn't going to fast because I keep on having migraines. So please pray for my pain to leave me alone!!! Thanks guys!
Sunday, 18 November 2012
Faith Weekend!!! (AKA Best Weekend Ever!)
Saturday morning, we were told to be ready to go and waiting by the vans by 10:30 am. We were told not to bring any money, an iPod, a phone, computer, journal, basically nothing. The only things that we could bring were warm clothes, a rain jacket, a water bottle, our bagged lunch, any medications that we take, a bible, a camera and a pen. Hmmm. This was a little fishy... So I arrived in the car-park (Kiwi's call parking lots car-parks), and there were 3 vans ready to go. I was placed on a team with Jacob and Kiwi Hannah. The staff told us to pray about which van to get into. So Hannah and I chose the 2nd van while Jacob ran to get some meds. Rebekah, Marit and Kyle were the other team that chose the same van as us.
The van took off and started driving to some unknown location. We were thinking that it was probably some sort of scavenger hunt for the day or something. So we drove for what seemed like hours, well I slept so it seemed like a long time to me, we got to Rotarua and then Sean pulled the van over and told the first team to get out. So Rebekah, Marit and Kyle got out. We left them by a backpakers place or something like that.
We kept driving further into Rotarua towards the town center. It smelled like farts. We all blamed Jacob. And the smell started to fill the van to the point that the windows fogged up. I thought we would die. But then we found out that the smell wasn't Jacob, it was Rotarua. Rotarua is actually a really touristy place because it has a lot of geothermal activity in the ground underneath of it. There are parts of the ground that actually feel warm when you walk on it. And all throughout the city there is sulfur smell released from the ground. There are lots of steaming lakes and bubbling mudpits releasing steam all throughout the city. So if Jacob was farting, the sulfur was concealing it. So I guess we will never know if Jacob did fart in the van that morning...
Sean pulled over at a grocery store and told us to get out. We were given a bag with a pack of uncooked penne noodles and two sanitary pads and an envelope. We opened the envelope and found a letter enclosed. This is what it read:
WELCOME TO FAITH WEEKEND!!!
What is faith weekend you ask? The obvious answer is that it is a weekend designed to give you opportunity to exercise your faith. We have spent the day yesterday proclaiming who God is, His power, His provision and we laid down everything to follow Him. So that is what we are going to do this weekend. We are going to lay down everything and just follow him.
RULE #1: Don't freak out.
It's time to see God move and provide for you in ways and in an experience you may never get to have again. You have made a huge leap of faith coming here to New Zealand, which is a beautiful country and it's full of people with life changing stories and just plain old adventure! This weekend is all about laying down your rights, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and relying FULLY on God to provide food, accommodation, and transportation for your team.
RULE #2: Just have fun!
Remember, prayer is the most powerful tool you have, and after that, it's a good attitude. Be open to what God is trying to teach you this weekend, He is always speaking through every situation, circumstance and through people that you would never expect revelation to come from. If your team can do both, you will see God move in powerful ways. Remember to always work as a team and support, encourage, lift up and carry one another.
Also remember this: This is YOUR DTS, and what you get out of it all depends on what you put into it.
You are the wave. Step out in faith! You can't expect to be bold in the big things when you don't step out in the little things first.
RULE #3: Be open! Get creative!
Make the most of this opportunity! You WILL find food, you WILL find a place to stay and you WILL find transportation back to the base. Think outside of the box, get creative: Who is the most interesting person you met? How many places did you go? Where is the furthest that you got? Have you touched people's lives?
This is going to be an incredible adventure, and when you look back you will have an amazing story of God's provision and faithfulness. But remember that God is always faithful in the midst of your trials and that is when we need to trust Him, stand on that solid foundation, and commit to following Jesus NO MATTER WHAT!
God is with you and He is good ALL the time!
BE BACK AT THE BASE ON SUNDAY AT 5:30PM AT THE LATEST! IF YOU CANNOT MAKE IT YOU HAVE TO GIVE US A CALL!
We laughed. So hard. We took a photo and then went to the McDonalds across the street. Did I mention that it was pouring rain? Well, it was pouring rain.
In McDonalds we went to the bathroom, chatted with a lady named Lynette about Jesus and prayed for her to find a job. Then we decided to walk around outside and see where God would lead us. We were walking around in the downtown area, we stopped a few people and told them about Jesus and prayed for them. When we reached a corner I really felt like we needed to turn left, so we turned. At the end of the street we turned down there were some people setting up an amp and some microphones in a little square. So we decided to sit there and eat our lunch and listen to some music. The square was covered by a tarp-ish thing that blocked us mostly from the rain. A guy came up to us and offered us some chocolate, and told us that he is with a local church and that they were doing a community outreach, and singing some songs for part of the afternoon.
When we told him we are with YWAM and that we are doing a faith weekend, he wanted us to go up to the mics and tell our testimonies. So we did. And then they found out that we are with a music and worship DTS, so they asked if we would sing some songs. So we basically lead worship in a random town square in the pouring rain. It was pretty awesome. We sang 'Grace Like Rain' and I was just blown away by the awesomeness of God.
A couple that was there with the church offered us supper and a place to stay for the night. We were so excited! We had only been in Rotarua for an hour or so and God had given us a meal and shelter. So we got their phone number and wandered around town for the rest of the afternoon. It was pretty wet and rainy. We talked to this one lady on the street for about an hour about Jesus and God and whether or not Jesus is God. She believed in God and that God is everywhere, which is true. But she did not believe that Jesus was God. It was a really interesting conversation and we talked about all sorts of things. She knew a lot about Jesus and the bible because she had been raised Catholic, but she also was influenced by tribal religions and such things. It was really a thought-provoking chat and I think that she will go home and read the bible. I am pumped. And I think that she will ask God to reveal to her the true nature of Jesus. It will be awesome!
After that chat we were frozen and damp. We wandered a bit more and found a guitar store. We went in and had another little worship sesh until the shop closed. Then we wandered a bit more and found a random art studio. The owner was there and invited us in. It was his place where he paints and such, but he allows other artists to display their work and sell their work out of his studio for free! Cool! So we got to look around. There was so much cool stuff in there. One of the artists makes sculptures out of used metal. So there was a giant metal horse laying on the floor. It was made out of old car parts. The guy told us we could sit on the horse. So we did. It was awesome. There was also I giant metal piranha on the wall made out of old pans and pot lids.
There were some really neat paintings and they weren't overly expensive, so I was really wishing I had money!!! I love buying a painting in every country I go to for a souvenir! I think I will have to revisit Rotarua after DTS! One of the artists came by and showed us his art and gave us a tour of all of the other art. He was a Christian too and used to be a cartoonist for Warner Bros., he seemed pretty cool. And he loved to chat. We were probably there for an hour or more.
Then we were tired so we trekked back to McDonalds to see if we could trade our uncooked pasta for some coffees. It was a no-go. But we did find some nice guys who let us borrow a cell phone so that we could call our dinner date. And they even gave us $5! It was all they had and it was so nice of them. It was actually a really humbling experience being offered money. We didn't want to take it, but we knew that we needed it so we accepted it.
Our people didn't answer the phone, so Hannah left a super awkward message that went something like this: "Hi.... uuuuhhhh... this is Hannah and Steph and Jacob, we met earlier today... I don't know if you remember us... but uhhhhh... We are at Maccah's.... Uhhhh... (I'm leaving a message guys) So I don't know how you can call us back... ummmm... never mind maybe you could meet us somewhere at like 5:30 or ummm. We'll just call you back! Bye!"
Hahahaa! So awkward!
Then we wandered around a bit more and went to a clothing store to use the phone to call again. When the guy, his name was Wi, picked up the phone he pretended to have an Indian accent and totally tricked Jacob. Hahahha! Jacob looked so scared that he called the wrong number or that they gave us a fake phone number! But it was them! Hahaha! They came and picked us up and took us over to one of the other guys (Shane)'s house for a potluck. We brought uncooked pasta! (They let us keep our uncooked pasta).
There was so much amazing food: chicken, roasted veggies, salad, pizza, etc. And I really didn't want to tell these amazing people who were such a blessing that I was allergic to nearly all of the food. So I decided that God provided this food for me and that I should eat it and that it wouldn't make me sick. I told Hannah and Jacob and they agreed and we prayed about it. So I ate the food. And I ate pizza... with cheese... and pepperoni... and burger... and pinapples.... that in itself includes gluten, dairy, probably eggs and meat. All of these things usually make me ill. But it was so delicious!!!!
And then there was desert! There was ice cream and apple strudel and fruit salad and biscuits (cookies) and coffee and tea. So I ate ice cream. So good. I haven't had ice cream in quite some time! And the best part.... NO DIARRHEA! Awe yeah. God is so good.
After dinner we had another little musical worship session. It turns out that Wi and Marama (the couple that adopted us) and Shane are all on the worship team at their church. So we had a good ol' time singing some Jesus songs.
Then we headed 'home' to Marama and Wi's place. Jacob got to sleep on the most glorious, comfy couch in the whole world. And Hannah and I got the spare bed. It had a heated mattress. But Marama thought that only one half of it still worked. So we rock paper scizzorsed for the heated side. I won. But then when we went to get in we found that both sides were working! YAY GOD! And it was so amazing because houses are not heated in NZ and we were still a bit damp and cold from our day, so the bed was glorious. It was so comfy too, it had a memory foam on it. We turned out the light and laid in the bed for a minute. Then we burst out laughing!!!! GOD IS SO AMAZING!!!! When we got dropped off at the grocery store that morning, we were not expecting that we would have a warm and comfy and safe place to sleep that night, but God is so good! And Wi and Marama were such a blessing for taking us complete strangers under their wing for the weekend! We prayed and thanked Jesus for his amazingness!
In the morning, we got to have a lovely shower and get all clean. Marama let us use her deoderant and any of her soaps in the shower and she gave us extra pads because the two that we were given along with the pasta were not enough! She was so cute! Marama and Wi had to go to church early to practice for worship but they let us sleep in and then came back to get us and bring us to church for the service. When we got there everyone was so welcoming and we got so many hugs and we met the pastor and it was so amazing!
The service was great!!!! We got to worship God and thank him for all that he had provided us with for the weekend! Hannah and I both had a feeling that we should give our $5 in the offering, so we did. We wished we could give more, but that was all we had! After the service there was coffee, and so many of the congregation came and greeted us and chatted with us about our story and the craziness of our 'faith weekend'. AND THEN we found out that some mysterious person from the church had given Wi money to buy us lunch!!! So we got to go to the mall food court for lunch!
After we had eaten, I randomly looked in the chest pocket of my jacket and found $15. I almost died. I was horrified!!!! I had had $15 all along! I gave it away to Wi and Marama and Shane. They didn't want to take it, so we decided on a compromise and bought some delicious biscuits (cookies). Marama loves her biscuits!!!! She is so cute! <3
And THEN!!! To make the day even more amazing, Marama, Wi and shane took us to see the sights of Rotarua! We got to see all of the sulfur pools and mud pits. They are beautiful, even though they are super stinky. And there is even little pools with seats around them that you can go and soak your feet in! So we soaked our feet in the stinky water for a while. It was so nice. Marama and Wi had to go back to the church for a meeting, but Shane stayed with us. And he offered to drive us the 45 minute drive back to the base. It was so nice. He literally drove us to the base and had to turn around and go straight back to the church for worship practice before the evening service. What a blessing!
Wow. When we got back to the base we were just floating on a cloud. And we found that the other teams had also had amazing experiences too! A couple groups ended up in Taurunga and went to the Bethlehem DTS's house for the night, some went to Hamilton where Miranda got to go to a random bridal shower! It is amazing what can happen when you step out in faith and trust God to provide! And now the smell of sulfur will forever remind me of Jesus' faithfulness and provision!
Friday, 16 November 2012
Long Time No Post
Yo dudez. Sorry for the lack of blogs the last couple of days. I was informed that my blogs were slanderous and that I am lucky that I don't have a law suit against me. So I was a bit worried about keeping on writing. But after some serious thought and deliberation and prayer, I have come to the conclusion that I should keep on writing my blog. And I will keep on writing it honestly and openly. I want to push your buttons, because I know that it will make you think.
It was suggested to me that maybe instead of posting my feelings on the internet for all to read that I should find one person that I can trust to confide in. That way I can get feedback and support. But in response to this suggestion I would just like to say that I don't write my feelings on my blog so that I can get feedback and support. That is not the point of my blog. Although I do receive a lot of prayer support and feedback from both my close friends and people that I don't even know, which is so awesome and so appreciated! But that is not why I write. I write because I hope that other people might be touched by the struggles that I am going through and have overcome. And I know that there are people out there that have been affected by my experiences.
Some blog entries may highlight the more positive parts of the day and some may highlight the negative parts of the day, depending on the day. I don't want to paint YWAM as a place that is filled with lollipops and daisies and unicorns pooping out rainbows, because it is not. But I am sure that you have noticed that. I also know that you have noticed that YWAM is not a place filled with darkness and gloom and witches cackling over cauldrons of green slime, either. Because it's not.
YWAM is a place for people to come if they are ready to change their lives radically to follow God. And when people commit to a DTS they are not just signing up for a fun time in another country. They are signing up to get their heart cracked open, and big fat dirty roots of sin to be dug out. It is not a pleasant experience when it is happening, but in the end the person is better off.
Maybe my posts in the past few days and maybe even weeks have been a bit down in the dumps and that is because God has been at work in my heart. It is not because I hate YWAM and want the world to know what a horrible place it is. I actually think that it is quite splendid and I think that every person should do a DTS in their lifetime.
A couple of days ago, I voiced my feelings towards going to Fiji for outreach. I was having a tough time accepting that I was supposed to go to Fiji because God never told me that I was supposed to go there. He had, however, told me that I will go to India in my life. So I connected the dots and thought that now was the time. And since God did not tell me his plans about Fiji, I questioned my placement on the Fiji outreach team.
And obviously it is not the 'losers' that go to Fiji, but the way that the teams were presented and referred to over the course of the past couple of months sort of gave that impression. And it is probably just because all of the outreach locations are so different from one another. They told us that the people that will be sent to India will have to be really physically and emotionally and spiritually strong. They told us that the people that will be sent to Asia will have to be extremely spiritually strong and good at spiritual warfare. They did not say anything about what qualities are needed to be sent to Fiji. So, naturally one gets the idea that all of the leftover random people get lumped on the Fiji outreaches. So forgive me, and many of the other students, for making this assumption.
My suggestion for future schools is that Fiji should be advertised as being more exciting, because then people will want to go. Fiji is the main focus for outreach locations from this base. There have been outreach teams being sent from here for decades, I think. And there has been huge success and amazing things that have happened there. So if students were told right off the bat how amazing and exciting and special Fiji actually is, and what all of the challenges will be and how students will be pushed there, then there would not be an under-riding false belief that the 'losers' get sent to Fiji.
I am a person who always wants a challenge. So, personally, took my being sent to Fiji as meaning that I am not physically, emotionally or spiritually strong because I didn't get put on one of the other outreach teams. And I got a little bit upset because I am actually a really strong person and I couldn't believe that people couldn't see that in me. And then I was told that I didn't get sent there because of my dietary restrictions. This made me even more mad because it makes it seem like God was not even consulted and that they didn't even consider sending me anywhere but Fiji. And the fact that God had not confirmed to me personally that I should go to Fiji made me completely mistrust the people who placed me in Fiji.
So I am sorry if I reflected this ministry in a bad way. That is not what I meant to do. I was just going through a bit of a struggle and I voiced my opinion. And, as I have stated many times before, it is purely an opinion. So please take it as such. It is not a statement that I am claiming to be true in any way. It is simply how I feel, or how I have felt.
Two days ago, I told God that if he did not confirm to me, personally, that he wants me to go to Fiji that I would go home. Because I truly did not feel called to Fiji, and I did not have a heart for Fiji, and it is costing me 3 000 dollars to go there. So, if it was not meant to be my outreach location I was willing to save my money and do something purposeful to God. It was not because I wanted to rebel against the people telling me to go to Fiji. It was simply because I did not feel that I was being called there by God.
I had never even heard of Fiji until I came to New Zealand. I had heard of Fiji water, but I didn't actually know if Fiji was a place or where in the world it was. I apologize for being ignorant about the islands all over the world. I think the only ones I could actually name on a map are Hawaii and Prince Edward Island. I don't even know anything about the other islands off of the coast of Canada, and I actually thought that New Zealand was to the north of Australia before I actually came here... so please don't take it personally. I guess I should look at a few maps.
Anyways, today was called 'Tabernacle day'. Ever since the beginning of the school the staff has been talking about how awesome Tabernacle day is, but they would never really say exactly what it is. Today I found out. It is a day that represents the ancient Tabernacles that the Jewish people had. The tabernacle consists of 3 'stages' or 'rooms' or something like that. The first is the outer courts, the next is the Holy place (or something like that) and then the Holy of Holies. In the old testament, the holy of holies was where the Holy Spirit was, and a priest was the only one who could go in there. The tabernacle was a place where God could meet with his people. But now, the tabernacle is represented by our bodies. The body is the outer courts, the soul is the inner, and the spirit is the holy of holies where we actually connect with the Holy Spirit.
It was such a big day that I know that the enemy was fighting against it, especially in me. All week up to today I have been pretty much knocked out with a migraine. It was a 10/10 on a pain scale for the majority of the week, and I spent a lot of time in bed. And coincidentally not a lot of time with God. I was also struggling with the whole Fiji thing, and I got in various forms of trouble for my outspoken nature and I was feeling quite offended and I really unwilling to put in any effort or to open myself up at all. And one thing about migraine pain is that it makes me super super grumpy and super super mean. So I was really being attacked by all of these things. But I did manage to fight them off and make it to Tabernacle day today, much to the enemy's dismay.
So Tabernacle day was designed to take us through the tabernacle and into the presence of the spirit. It was an all-day event. It started at 9 am and I think it ended at 11 pm. We started off by entering the courts with thanksgiving. We brought items to praise God with. Then we gave up burnt offerings and Sin/Guilt offerings. Then we were ready to enter the 'holy of holies' and we just worshiped and prayed and it was pretty awesome. We prophesied over each other too, and took communion. It was amazing actually, not just pretty awesome.
Schnegg brought a ladder as a tool to praise God with. So, any of us who chose to could climb up the ladder and be 'closer' to God in order to praise him. I went up the ladder. It was cool. And then I got to jump off and everyone caught me. It was terrifying and fun, but it really hurt when I hit their arms. I'm surprised I didn't break someone's arm.
I had a lot of trouble coming up with offerings to bring. I was in a sour mood and really didn't feel like giving anything up to God. But this morning he did convince me to bring a few things to consecrate. One was my degree. I really don't like my degree much, and I have been really against actually using it in the future. But when I was joking about how I would actually like to burn it, it dawned on me that maybe God might want to use my degree. So I laid it down for him, not in a sense of giving up Neuroscience but in a sense of giving it to him to do with as he pleases. I also laid down my creativity and the creative gifts that he has given me, especially writing and song writing. And I gave him my passport. To symbolize my identity as a Canadian. Because I often get offended when people think that I am American or assume that Canada is the same as America. But I laid it down, so I can no longer be offended by that. I also gave my passport to show God that I am willing to go anywhere for him. That was hard, because I knew that it might mean Fiji... I also gave up my favorite thrift store item - my old lady michelin man winter jacket. This was because I sort of do define myself by my clothing and my style.
I also had this weird feeling that God wanted me to sing Janessa the song that I wrote for her again. So I serenaded her. And it confirmed something for her in her life that is SO significant. Man. So cool. I cried.
And then God decided to confirm something in my life. When Tiff was consecrating things, she pulled out a blue piece of folded fabric, and I knew that it was for me. She unfolded it and revealed that it was a sulu from Fiji that says 'Bula Fiji' on it. Which means 'Live Fiji' or 'Life Fiji', and she said that God had told her to give it to me because I will bring life to Fiji. Oh God. You make me so mad. So I guess that is confirmation enough for me. I knew that laying down my Passport was a bad idea! (That was a joke, by the way).
For the sin/guilt offering I laid down so many things. A big thing for me was my pride. I want to humble myself before the Lord, and to die to myself. And yesterday when I was talking to God about what I would be offering tomorrow, it crossed my mind that I should cut my hair because I really like my long blonde hair and I do take pride in it, in a way. But I really didn't want to, so I made a bargain with God (Bad Idea!!). Elisa has beautiful long hair that is basically to her butt, so I didn't think she would cut it. I told God that if Elisa cut her hair, I would cut mine. Let's just say Elisa cut her hair for God. Oh pooh. So I cut my hair as a sin offering for my pride. It is short.
It was suggested to me that maybe instead of posting my feelings on the internet for all to read that I should find one person that I can trust to confide in. That way I can get feedback and support. But in response to this suggestion I would just like to say that I don't write my feelings on my blog so that I can get feedback and support. That is not the point of my blog. Although I do receive a lot of prayer support and feedback from both my close friends and people that I don't even know, which is so awesome and so appreciated! But that is not why I write. I write because I hope that other people might be touched by the struggles that I am going through and have overcome. And I know that there are people out there that have been affected by my experiences.
Some blog entries may highlight the more positive parts of the day and some may highlight the negative parts of the day, depending on the day. I don't want to paint YWAM as a place that is filled with lollipops and daisies and unicorns pooping out rainbows, because it is not. But I am sure that you have noticed that. I also know that you have noticed that YWAM is not a place filled with darkness and gloom and witches cackling over cauldrons of green slime, either. Because it's not.
YWAM is a place for people to come if they are ready to change their lives radically to follow God. And when people commit to a DTS they are not just signing up for a fun time in another country. They are signing up to get their heart cracked open, and big fat dirty roots of sin to be dug out. It is not a pleasant experience when it is happening, but in the end the person is better off.
Maybe my posts in the past few days and maybe even weeks have been a bit down in the dumps and that is because God has been at work in my heart. It is not because I hate YWAM and want the world to know what a horrible place it is. I actually think that it is quite splendid and I think that every person should do a DTS in their lifetime.
A couple of days ago, I voiced my feelings towards going to Fiji for outreach. I was having a tough time accepting that I was supposed to go to Fiji because God never told me that I was supposed to go there. He had, however, told me that I will go to India in my life. So I connected the dots and thought that now was the time. And since God did not tell me his plans about Fiji, I questioned my placement on the Fiji outreach team.
And obviously it is not the 'losers' that go to Fiji, but the way that the teams were presented and referred to over the course of the past couple of months sort of gave that impression. And it is probably just because all of the outreach locations are so different from one another. They told us that the people that will be sent to India will have to be really physically and emotionally and spiritually strong. They told us that the people that will be sent to Asia will have to be extremely spiritually strong and good at spiritual warfare. They did not say anything about what qualities are needed to be sent to Fiji. So, naturally one gets the idea that all of the leftover random people get lumped on the Fiji outreaches. So forgive me, and many of the other students, for making this assumption.
My suggestion for future schools is that Fiji should be advertised as being more exciting, because then people will want to go. Fiji is the main focus for outreach locations from this base. There have been outreach teams being sent from here for decades, I think. And there has been huge success and amazing things that have happened there. So if students were told right off the bat how amazing and exciting and special Fiji actually is, and what all of the challenges will be and how students will be pushed there, then there would not be an under-riding false belief that the 'losers' get sent to Fiji.
I am a person who always wants a challenge. So, personally, took my being sent to Fiji as meaning that I am not physically, emotionally or spiritually strong because I didn't get put on one of the other outreach teams. And I got a little bit upset because I am actually a really strong person and I couldn't believe that people couldn't see that in me. And then I was told that I didn't get sent there because of my dietary restrictions. This made me even more mad because it makes it seem like God was not even consulted and that they didn't even consider sending me anywhere but Fiji. And the fact that God had not confirmed to me personally that I should go to Fiji made me completely mistrust the people who placed me in Fiji.
So I am sorry if I reflected this ministry in a bad way. That is not what I meant to do. I was just going through a bit of a struggle and I voiced my opinion. And, as I have stated many times before, it is purely an opinion. So please take it as such. It is not a statement that I am claiming to be true in any way. It is simply how I feel, or how I have felt.
Two days ago, I told God that if he did not confirm to me, personally, that he wants me to go to Fiji that I would go home. Because I truly did not feel called to Fiji, and I did not have a heart for Fiji, and it is costing me 3 000 dollars to go there. So, if it was not meant to be my outreach location I was willing to save my money and do something purposeful to God. It was not because I wanted to rebel against the people telling me to go to Fiji. It was simply because I did not feel that I was being called there by God.
I had never even heard of Fiji until I came to New Zealand. I had heard of Fiji water, but I didn't actually know if Fiji was a place or where in the world it was. I apologize for being ignorant about the islands all over the world. I think the only ones I could actually name on a map are Hawaii and Prince Edward Island. I don't even know anything about the other islands off of the coast of Canada, and I actually thought that New Zealand was to the north of Australia before I actually came here... so please don't take it personally. I guess I should look at a few maps.
Anyways, today was called 'Tabernacle day'. Ever since the beginning of the school the staff has been talking about how awesome Tabernacle day is, but they would never really say exactly what it is. Today I found out. It is a day that represents the ancient Tabernacles that the Jewish people had. The tabernacle consists of 3 'stages' or 'rooms' or something like that. The first is the outer courts, the next is the Holy place (or something like that) and then the Holy of Holies. In the old testament, the holy of holies was where the Holy Spirit was, and a priest was the only one who could go in there. The tabernacle was a place where God could meet with his people. But now, the tabernacle is represented by our bodies. The body is the outer courts, the soul is the inner, and the spirit is the holy of holies where we actually connect with the Holy Spirit.
It was such a big day that I know that the enemy was fighting against it, especially in me. All week up to today I have been pretty much knocked out with a migraine. It was a 10/10 on a pain scale for the majority of the week, and I spent a lot of time in bed. And coincidentally not a lot of time with God. I was also struggling with the whole Fiji thing, and I got in various forms of trouble for my outspoken nature and I was feeling quite offended and I really unwilling to put in any effort or to open myself up at all. And one thing about migraine pain is that it makes me super super grumpy and super super mean. So I was really being attacked by all of these things. But I did manage to fight them off and make it to Tabernacle day today, much to the enemy's dismay.
So Tabernacle day was designed to take us through the tabernacle and into the presence of the spirit. It was an all-day event. It started at 9 am and I think it ended at 11 pm. We started off by entering the courts with thanksgiving. We brought items to praise God with. Then we gave up burnt offerings and Sin/Guilt offerings. Then we were ready to enter the 'holy of holies' and we just worshiped and prayed and it was pretty awesome. We prophesied over each other too, and took communion. It was amazing actually, not just pretty awesome.
Schnegg brought a ladder as a tool to praise God with. So, any of us who chose to could climb up the ladder and be 'closer' to God in order to praise him. I went up the ladder. It was cool. And then I got to jump off and everyone caught me. It was terrifying and fun, but it really hurt when I hit their arms. I'm surprised I didn't break someone's arm.
I had a lot of trouble coming up with offerings to bring. I was in a sour mood and really didn't feel like giving anything up to God. But this morning he did convince me to bring a few things to consecrate. One was my degree. I really don't like my degree much, and I have been really against actually using it in the future. But when I was joking about how I would actually like to burn it, it dawned on me that maybe God might want to use my degree. So I laid it down for him, not in a sense of giving up Neuroscience but in a sense of giving it to him to do with as he pleases. I also laid down my creativity and the creative gifts that he has given me, especially writing and song writing. And I gave him my passport. To symbolize my identity as a Canadian. Because I often get offended when people think that I am American or assume that Canada is the same as America. But I laid it down, so I can no longer be offended by that. I also gave my passport to show God that I am willing to go anywhere for him. That was hard, because I knew that it might mean Fiji... I also gave up my favorite thrift store item - my old lady michelin man winter jacket. This was because I sort of do define myself by my clothing and my style.
I also had this weird feeling that God wanted me to sing Janessa the song that I wrote for her again. So I serenaded her. And it confirmed something for her in her life that is SO significant. Man. So cool. I cried.
And then God decided to confirm something in my life. When Tiff was consecrating things, she pulled out a blue piece of folded fabric, and I knew that it was for me. She unfolded it and revealed that it was a sulu from Fiji that says 'Bula Fiji' on it. Which means 'Live Fiji' or 'Life Fiji', and she said that God had told her to give it to me because I will bring life to Fiji. Oh God. You make me so mad. So I guess that is confirmation enough for me. I knew that laying down my Passport was a bad idea! (That was a joke, by the way).
For the sin/guilt offering I laid down so many things. A big thing for me was my pride. I want to humble myself before the Lord, and to die to myself. And yesterday when I was talking to God about what I would be offering tomorrow, it crossed my mind that I should cut my hair because I really like my long blonde hair and I do take pride in it, in a way. But I really didn't want to, so I made a bargain with God (Bad Idea!!). Elisa has beautiful long hair that is basically to her butt, so I didn't think she would cut it. I told God that if Elisa cut her hair, I would cut mine. Let's just say Elisa cut her hair for God. Oh pooh. So I cut my hair as a sin offering for my pride. It is short.
Yeah man. It is a shoulder-length bob.
I also am kind of possessive of my things and of my food. I am greedy and don't like to share. A while ago I bought a pack of 10 nail polishes from K-mart. I was hoarding them in my drawer and not letting anyone use them. So I gave them all away as a sin offering for my possessiveness of my things. I also gave my vanilla coke away to Matt as a representation of my food. And then, just to nip this non-sharing thing in the bud, I decided not to give my Tim Horton's coffee grounds away, but to keep them for myself and I told everyone that they are welcome to use it. This will be hard, because it will still be 'mine' technically, but I will have to share it with them. And it is my precious.
I really didn't want to, but I laid down my desire for a husband. I realized that I often idolize romantic relationships to the point that I desire one more than I desire a relationship with God. So I gave it up to God and told him that I will chase him to the ends of the earth and not a boy ever again. And if one day he chooses to give me a husband then I will gladly accept. I also laid down shame, and lust and unbelief. The other day, the speaker had used an example for shame as being shameful of picking your nose and then eating it too. So at one point, one of the guys got up and confessed that he always picks his nose and eats it, but that he will no longer be ashamed. And then about half of the students got up and confessed to the same thing! Omygosh. I had no idea that people actually do this. I have never done that (usually I pick-it and flick-it or pick-it and stick-it under a table or something)! But I was wishing that I had done it so that I could go up there and say it too!!! Hilarious.
But it was definitely a productive day! And this evening was so beautiful. Just being completely cleansed of everything and in the presence of the Spirit. It was so cool. I got the gift of tongues too, which is so weird. But I wanted it all along, so yay! Finally! I also received a few prophetic confirmations. We did an exercise where we had to prophesy a word over a person without knowing who we were prophesying over. Elisa had me. She got the word 'mother'. In the past couple of weeks I have been really accepting the mother-heart-of-God gifting that I have. I was in denial about it for so long, and really wanted nothing to do with being a spiritual mother. But I have been accepting it lately and it has been awesome and then Elisa said that to me, which I thought was really cool. And then Schnegg brought be his after-shave bottle and told me that it represented my fragrance - because I am a beautiful fragrance for God (and hopefully not because I smell like a man). And the aftershave also represented a man and that I will one day have a husband. That was quick. God didn't even make me wait a day before he gave my husband back to me. Cool.
Anyways. It is so late. I have to sleep now! Gute Nacht!
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
Hi, my name is Peter. Please help me to be more like Paul.
There are three Jesus'. There is the historical Jesus, the personal Jesus, and the King Jesus in all of His Glory. The historical Jesus is the man Jesus that lived in history. He was a carpenter. His earthly parents were Mary and Joseph. He came from Nazareth. He had 12 buddies that he travelled around with. He died on a cross. Et cetera. Anyone and everyone can know this Jesus, and many do. Especially in Western countries, most people know about or have heard of the historical Jesus.
The personal Jesus is a bit different. When we know WHO Jesus is, that he is the way, the truth and the life, then we can cross the bridge from the historical Jesus to the personal Jesus. Many do know this Jesus. They know that he loves them. They receive him. They are believers. But they keep rules out of duty. They go to church on Sunday and do everything 'right' but they will never change the world, and it is likely that their children won't understand Jesus or want to know who he is. This is a private, personal relationship. This person is a lot like Peter.
Our relationship with Jesus should not be private. When we understand and accept the Holy Spirit into our lives, we can cross the bridge from the personal Jesus to the Living King Jesus in all of His Glory! There are few who have met the living Jesus. They are not only believers, they are disciples. They are mature in their obedience to God, and are willing to face persecution and suffering. These people understand that they have free will and they can choose to serve God and choose to follow all of the rules, and they do choose this. They delight in this. This is an absolute surrender to God. These people will change the world. This relationship creates a transformation in you. This is what you were created for! This person is more like Paul. He did not 'know' Jesus personally, but he encountered him and it changed his life! And he changed the world.
Knowing the living Jesus is so hard. I don't know him in this way yet. I know that I will have to give up a lot to know him in this way. And I haven't come to the place where I am willing to fully surrender EVERYTHING. I WANT to, but am not WILLING to. It sucks.
There are three steps we must take in order to fulfill our calling. 1) Follow him (Luke 9: 23-24). Don't ask him to follow you. Don't carry him around in your back pocket until you need him. FOLLOW HIM. 2) Fix your eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12: 1-2). Don't fix your eyes on yourself. Don't focus on all of your weaknesses and your sin. Fix your eyes on God, and he will take care of the rest. 3) Remember your baptism (Romans 6:1). Be a sheep. This is quite fitting in New Zealand.
Fun fact about sheep: There are lots of hills in New Zealand. They are not slowly sloping hills, they are really steep and rounded hills. So, the sheep that live here have to be able to walk around on these steep hills. There is not really much flat land. Just hills. So these sheep, they grow up on hills, and as they grow, the legs on one side become shorter than the legs on the other side in order to adapt to the hilliness. So if you put them on flat land, they fall over. Haha!
When God creates us, he created us with a spirit, a soul and a body. If we didn't have all three of these, we would not be human. Angels have a spirit and a soul, but no body. Animals have a body and a soul, but no spirit.
The spirit is your intuition and your conscience. It is where you can commune/connect with God. Because God is spirit, so he can connect with your spirit. Your spirit gives you identity, value and significance/destiny. (Some scriptures: 1 Cor 2: 9-12; 2 Cor 4:2; Eph 2: 1-4; Titus 1: 15; John 9: 41). Your spirit is KNOWING. As soon as you connect with God in your spirit and know him, you will know yourself. This is where passion and anointing comes from. This is where you find your calling.
The soul is your mind, will and emotions. This is personhood and gives you the ability to relate to other people. (Scriptures: Heb 4: 12-13; 1 Peter 1: 9; Proverbs 23: 7). Your soul is UNDERSTANDING. Your soul is basically your heart, in a non-literal and non-biological sense. This is your personality. This is where you think, make choices, feel emotions and imagine. Whatever you think in your heart/soul is what you will be. The point of your faith is for the salvation of your soul.
The body houses your spirit and soul and requires food and defense. This also gives us the gift of reproduction. The body makes visible the invisible. We were made in the image of God. God is invisible. But we make him visible through our bodies. Our bodies give us the ability to love and serve others. (Scripture: 1 John 2: 16; James 1: 13-15). Your body is SEEING. This is where your spirit and soul come out. So whatever is in your soul will be visible on your body.
Picture this: A column with the spirit at the top, the soul underneath of that and the body on the bottom. God pours in to your spirit, which feeds your soul, which is shown through your body. So when you are open and surrendered to God, this flows naturally. But sometimes there can be a veil placed between the spirit and the soul. This veil can be jealousy, anger, bitterness, lust, etc. And it blocks your spirit from pouring over into your soul. So we need to break off all of the veils so that we can freely hear God and do good.
I would like to apologize to all of you reading this blog right now. I started this blog with the promise that I would be completely honest and open and express my deepest thoughts. But I have realized that I have not been real for the past few weeks. I have been very superficial, just stating the facts but not being honest with myself or you about what I am feeling and thinking deep down. I have let a veil of anger, bitterness, resentment, jealousy, etc. come between my spirit and my soul and blocked myself off from God and from who I truly am.
I have been making jokes in order to ignore my true feelings inside. I thought I dealt with this during heart transplant week with Goldie. But it is back. I am shielding my heart from disappointment by making jokes and not letting my emotions truly be acknowledged in my heart. The truth is that I am mad. I am so mad at God. I feel like he has let me down by sending me to Fiji. I don't want to go there, and he has not given me a heart for Fiji. And I have been angry with him. I have closed myself off from him. I have stopped seeking him out. I have stopped being open to what he is trying to tell me / teach me. I stopped looking to him and have been looking to myself for answers and for help. But I can't do it alone. I need to surrender my pride and surrender my unbelief and submit to his Lordship. But I don't want to. It's a problem. Why am I so stubborn? Norwegian heritage probably. Just kidding. Here I go again making jokes about serious issues. How can I be more like Paul?
The personal Jesus is a bit different. When we know WHO Jesus is, that he is the way, the truth and the life, then we can cross the bridge from the historical Jesus to the personal Jesus. Many do know this Jesus. They know that he loves them. They receive him. They are believers. But they keep rules out of duty. They go to church on Sunday and do everything 'right' but they will never change the world, and it is likely that their children won't understand Jesus or want to know who he is. This is a private, personal relationship. This person is a lot like Peter.
Our relationship with Jesus should not be private. When we understand and accept the Holy Spirit into our lives, we can cross the bridge from the personal Jesus to the Living King Jesus in all of His Glory! There are few who have met the living Jesus. They are not only believers, they are disciples. They are mature in their obedience to God, and are willing to face persecution and suffering. These people understand that they have free will and they can choose to serve God and choose to follow all of the rules, and they do choose this. They delight in this. This is an absolute surrender to God. These people will change the world. This relationship creates a transformation in you. This is what you were created for! This person is more like Paul. He did not 'know' Jesus personally, but he encountered him and it changed his life! And he changed the world.
Knowing the living Jesus is so hard. I don't know him in this way yet. I know that I will have to give up a lot to know him in this way. And I haven't come to the place where I am willing to fully surrender EVERYTHING. I WANT to, but am not WILLING to. It sucks.
There are three steps we must take in order to fulfill our calling. 1) Follow him (Luke 9: 23-24). Don't ask him to follow you. Don't carry him around in your back pocket until you need him. FOLLOW HIM. 2) Fix your eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12: 1-2). Don't fix your eyes on yourself. Don't focus on all of your weaknesses and your sin. Fix your eyes on God, and he will take care of the rest. 3) Remember your baptism (Romans 6:1). Be a sheep. This is quite fitting in New Zealand.
Fun fact about sheep: There are lots of hills in New Zealand. They are not slowly sloping hills, they are really steep and rounded hills. So, the sheep that live here have to be able to walk around on these steep hills. There is not really much flat land. Just hills. So these sheep, they grow up on hills, and as they grow, the legs on one side become shorter than the legs on the other side in order to adapt to the hilliness. So if you put them on flat land, they fall over. Haha!
When God creates us, he created us with a spirit, a soul and a body. If we didn't have all three of these, we would not be human. Angels have a spirit and a soul, but no body. Animals have a body and a soul, but no spirit.
The spirit is your intuition and your conscience. It is where you can commune/connect with God. Because God is spirit, so he can connect with your spirit. Your spirit gives you identity, value and significance/destiny. (Some scriptures: 1 Cor 2: 9-12; 2 Cor 4:2; Eph 2: 1-4; Titus 1: 15; John 9: 41). Your spirit is KNOWING. As soon as you connect with God in your spirit and know him, you will know yourself. This is where passion and anointing comes from. This is where you find your calling.
The soul is your mind, will and emotions. This is personhood and gives you the ability to relate to other people. (Scriptures: Heb 4: 12-13; 1 Peter 1: 9; Proverbs 23: 7). Your soul is UNDERSTANDING. Your soul is basically your heart, in a non-literal and non-biological sense. This is your personality. This is where you think, make choices, feel emotions and imagine. Whatever you think in your heart/soul is what you will be. The point of your faith is for the salvation of your soul.
The body houses your spirit and soul and requires food and defense. This also gives us the gift of reproduction. The body makes visible the invisible. We were made in the image of God. God is invisible. But we make him visible through our bodies. Our bodies give us the ability to love and serve others. (Scripture: 1 John 2: 16; James 1: 13-15). Your body is SEEING. This is where your spirit and soul come out. So whatever is in your soul will be visible on your body.
Picture this: A column with the spirit at the top, the soul underneath of that and the body on the bottom. God pours in to your spirit, which feeds your soul, which is shown through your body. So when you are open and surrendered to God, this flows naturally. But sometimes there can be a veil placed between the spirit and the soul. This veil can be jealousy, anger, bitterness, lust, etc. And it blocks your spirit from pouring over into your soul. So we need to break off all of the veils so that we can freely hear God and do good.
I would like to apologize to all of you reading this blog right now. I started this blog with the promise that I would be completely honest and open and express my deepest thoughts. But I have realized that I have not been real for the past few weeks. I have been very superficial, just stating the facts but not being honest with myself or you about what I am feeling and thinking deep down. I have let a veil of anger, bitterness, resentment, jealousy, etc. come between my spirit and my soul and blocked myself off from God and from who I truly am.
I have been making jokes in order to ignore my true feelings inside. I thought I dealt with this during heart transplant week with Goldie. But it is back. I am shielding my heart from disappointment by making jokes and not letting my emotions truly be acknowledged in my heart. The truth is that I am mad. I am so mad at God. I feel like he has let me down by sending me to Fiji. I don't want to go there, and he has not given me a heart for Fiji. And I have been angry with him. I have closed myself off from him. I have stopped seeking him out. I have stopped being open to what he is trying to tell me / teach me. I stopped looking to him and have been looking to myself for answers and for help. But I can't do it alone. I need to surrender my pride and surrender my unbelief and submit to his Lordship. But I don't want to. It's a problem. Why am I so stubborn? Norwegian heritage probably. Just kidding. Here I go again making jokes about serious issues. How can I be more like Paul?
Monday, 12 November 2012
The Lordship of Christ
Bula!!! (This is Fijian for Greetings!)
Funny story from this morning: During worship this morning, Henk dropped his pick into his guitar and started shaking it to get it out, in the middle of worship. It was awesome. But Schnegg saved the day and got him a new pick.
This week is on the Lordship of Christ. I am so excited for it!!!
The main thing I got from the song is that I need to keep on labouring until God is done His work in me! And He will probably never be done. I think that since I am in the isolated little world of YWAM it does feel like it is just a dream. But this is real. God is real. And he will still be real when YWAM is over. I need to wake up. The last 3 or so weeks I have been asleep. I haven't actually spent time with God or prayed in a long time. This morning was the first time in so long that I actually talked to Him in weeks.
And I think that it is because I am angry with Him. I am mad at Him for making me go to Fiji on outreach. I have been trying to put on a happy face and have a good attitude about it, but I just don't want to go. I would rather go home to Canada than go to Fiji on outreach. I don't even know why I feel this way, but I think that it is partially because the school leaders made the India and Asian outreaches sound so much better than the Fiji ones. It seems like all of the 'strong' and 'spiritual' and 'good' people get to go to those places and the left over rif-raf weak people just go to Fiji. And I think that I have been letting this idea get into my head and I have gotten offended. I feel like I am one of the losers here and I am not good enough to go to India and it pisses me off. It's like people think I am weak or something. I am so not weak. And I am so mad. And I find myself resenting everyone that gets to go to India.
Ever since I found out which outreach I am going on I have shut off. At the beginning of the school, I threw myself all in and I was going all out for God. After I found out that I am one of the losers going to Fiji, I gave up. I didn't care anymore because I felt like if I am not good enough for India then I am not going to bother anymore.
But today Mark Parker woke me up. He yelled "WAKE UP!" and I woke up. My spirit woke up. And I started to let myself feel these feelings about outreach that I have been trying to suppress and trying to pretend aren't there. All of the lies I was trying to tell myself that I am glad I get to go to Fiji and stuff. And I remembered what Goldie taught me so many weeks ago, to just feel and let God bring you THROUGH your struggles. You can't just avoid them and expect them to go away.
Today in outreach prep we did affirmations. All anyone says to me with regards to outreach is that 'our team would not be the same without me' and that 'the team needs me'. And I am really frustrated with always hearing this because no one ever tells me why! Why would the team be different without me? Why do they need me? Because honestly I don't feel like I have a place or a role in our team. I am just the awkward one with no real identity in the team. I am just there. And I feel like the team would be just fine without me. I don't understand why they are saying that the team needs me. It's like they are just saying this to make me feel like I need to be there because they know that it would not be different without me.
Today I got mad when they said it again. So I asked Sarah to have a one-on-one with me after outreach prep. And I asked her why the team needs me and what role I play on the team. She said because you are Steph and you are unique. Great. Why does everyone keep telling me that I am unique? What does that even mean? That I'm really weird and don't really fit in? Ugh. I asked her how they decided to put me on this team. Apparently God has a plan for me. Whoop-dee-dooo. I am so sick of God's plans and Him keeping them a secret from me. He is such a little schemer. Why can't he just tell me a little bit about why he is sending me to Fiji, or what I am supposed to do after I am finished my DTS... or anything for that matter? Oh God. What a guy.
But despite the fact that Sarah didn't really have any answers about my role on the team, we did have a good bonding moment. I cried. She said that it is good to see me broken. I said how many times to I have to be broken? Apparently it will be a lot. Every time God tears something out I think that that will be it. But it is most definitely not it. It sucks. But I guess I need to get a taste of my own medicine every now and again. Just today I told Beth that I am so glad that she is broken right now and that God is working in her. But the reason I am excited when I see others broken is that I know that something great will come out of it. So I guess I just need to listen to my own advice. It sucks taking your own advice.
I am excited for getting to know Sarah more on outreach though. I know that we will be able to lean on each other while we are there. I am sure that we will have many more talks like the one tonight where we just cry to each other and support each other. I know that she will become a good friend and I am so excited for that! She is so wise and I will need her encouragement and her friendship as I struggle through outreach.
After Sarah left, the girls of cottage 5 were wondering what I was crying about. Since we have no secrets here, I had to tell them. And I am glad they did, because they can see things about me that I can't. They can see why I am on this team and why my team needs me. And I guess that Dave has told me these things too, just not in girl language... Dave has said that I will be a rock and that I am a rock for this team. I didn't really understand how or why and whatnot, but the girls explained it well. Everyone will lean on me. And I guess it is kind of true. We have a lot of young ones on our team. Beth, Van and Hannah are all still teeny boppers and I can see them leaning on me. Out comes the Mother heart of God again. I just really don't want to be motherly. I don't know why, because mothers are so important, but I just don't want to be a mother. I want to be mothered. But alas, God always pushes you and forces you to grow in ways that challenge you. So I will be Steph the rock and mom. Bleh.
I can see Sarah and Leish leaning on me too in a way. Jacob will be there for my comic relief so that I don't get so stressed out by all of the craziness around me. And Dave will be my rock. It is so weird because he is only 19, but I look up to him so much. He is so strong and so stable and so wise. I will need him so much during outreach I think. Our team is a lot of emotional crazies who get swept up by the spirit and all of the crazy stuff going on, but Dave and I are the two that will be able to bring everyone back down to earth. I can see us just sitting together somewhere quietly and not talking, just being comfortable with each other, while everyone else is jumping around and crazy. I am excited to get to know Dave more too! I think we are very similar people. Well, I hope that because I want to be like him!
Anyways, got to go to bed because Carly will be jumping on my bright and early and dragging me to morning prayer so that I can fight it out with God!
Funny story from this morning: During worship this morning, Henk dropped his pick into his guitar and started shaking it to get it out, in the middle of worship. It was awesome. But Schnegg saved the day and got him a new pick.
This week is on the Lordship of Christ. I am so excited for it!!!
“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over
all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on
earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities;
all things were created by him and for him” – Colossians 1:15-16
Mark Parker is teaching us this week. Last night when Johanna told us about Mark, she described him as an old man who is very opinionated and we will either love him or hate him. She said that he WILL offend us and he will probably swear. Johanna learned what the words 'pimp' and 'pubic' when he taught on her school.
The first thing this morning, 50 something year old Mark blasted Be Still by the Killers as loud as the speakers would go and started dancing around the room. Woah. Hilarious. These are the lyrics of the song:
Be still
And go on to bed
Nobody knows what lies ahead
And life is short
To say the least
We're in the belly of the beast
Be still
Wild and young
Long may your innocence reign
Like shells on the shore
And may your limits be unknown
And may your efforts be your own
If you ever feel you can't take it anymore
Don't break character
You've got a lot of heart
Is this real or just a dream?
Rise up like the sun
Labor till the work is done
Be still
One day you'll leave
Fearlessness on your sleeve
When you've come back, tell me what did you see
What did you see
Was there something out there for me?
Be still
Close your eyes
Soon enough you'll be on your own
Steady and straight
And if they drag you through the mud
It doesn't change what's in your blood
(Over chains)
When they knock you down
Don't break character
You've got a lot of heart
Is this real or just a dream?
Be still
Be still
Be still
Be still
Over rock and chain
Over sunset plain
Over trap and snare
When you're in too deep
In your wildest dream
In your made up scheme
When they knock you down
When they knock you down
Don't break character
You've got sooooo much heart
Is this real or just a dream?
Oh Rise up like the sun
And labor till the work is done
Rise up like the sun
Labor till the work is
Rise up like the sun
And labor till the work is done
And go on to bed
Nobody knows what lies ahead
And life is short
To say the least
We're in the belly of the beast
Be still
Wild and young
Long may your innocence reign
Like shells on the shore
And may your limits be unknown
And may your efforts be your own
If you ever feel you can't take it anymore
Don't break character
You've got a lot of heart
Is this real or just a dream?
Rise up like the sun
Labor till the work is done
Be still
One day you'll leave
Fearlessness on your sleeve
When you've come back, tell me what did you see
What did you see
Was there something out there for me?
Be still
Close your eyes
Soon enough you'll be on your own
Steady and straight
And if they drag you through the mud
It doesn't change what's in your blood
(Over chains)
When they knock you down
Don't break character
You've got a lot of heart
Is this real or just a dream?
Be still
Be still
Be still
Be still
Over rock and chain
Over sunset plain
Over trap and snare
When you're in too deep
In your wildest dream
In your made up scheme
When they knock you down
When they knock you down
Don't break character
You've got sooooo much heart
Is this real or just a dream?
Oh Rise up like the sun
And labor till the work is done
Rise up like the sun
Labor till the work is
Rise up like the sun
And labor till the work is done
And I think that it is because I am angry with Him. I am mad at Him for making me go to Fiji on outreach. I have been trying to put on a happy face and have a good attitude about it, but I just don't want to go. I would rather go home to Canada than go to Fiji on outreach. I don't even know why I feel this way, but I think that it is partially because the school leaders made the India and Asian outreaches sound so much better than the Fiji ones. It seems like all of the 'strong' and 'spiritual' and 'good' people get to go to those places and the left over rif-raf weak people just go to Fiji. And I think that I have been letting this idea get into my head and I have gotten offended. I feel like I am one of the losers here and I am not good enough to go to India and it pisses me off. It's like people think I am weak or something. I am so not weak. And I am so mad. And I find myself resenting everyone that gets to go to India.
Ever since I found out which outreach I am going on I have shut off. At the beginning of the school, I threw myself all in and I was going all out for God. After I found out that I am one of the losers going to Fiji, I gave up. I didn't care anymore because I felt like if I am not good enough for India then I am not going to bother anymore.
But today Mark Parker woke me up. He yelled "WAKE UP!" and I woke up. My spirit woke up. And I started to let myself feel these feelings about outreach that I have been trying to suppress and trying to pretend aren't there. All of the lies I was trying to tell myself that I am glad I get to go to Fiji and stuff. And I remembered what Goldie taught me so many weeks ago, to just feel and let God bring you THROUGH your struggles. You can't just avoid them and expect them to go away.
Today in outreach prep we did affirmations. All anyone says to me with regards to outreach is that 'our team would not be the same without me' and that 'the team needs me'. And I am really frustrated with always hearing this because no one ever tells me why! Why would the team be different without me? Why do they need me? Because honestly I don't feel like I have a place or a role in our team. I am just the awkward one with no real identity in the team. I am just there. And I feel like the team would be just fine without me. I don't understand why they are saying that the team needs me. It's like they are just saying this to make me feel like I need to be there because they know that it would not be different without me.
Today I got mad when they said it again. So I asked Sarah to have a one-on-one with me after outreach prep. And I asked her why the team needs me and what role I play on the team. She said because you are Steph and you are unique. Great. Why does everyone keep telling me that I am unique? What does that even mean? That I'm really weird and don't really fit in? Ugh. I asked her how they decided to put me on this team. Apparently God has a plan for me. Whoop-dee-dooo. I am so sick of God's plans and Him keeping them a secret from me. He is such a little schemer. Why can't he just tell me a little bit about why he is sending me to Fiji, or what I am supposed to do after I am finished my DTS... or anything for that matter? Oh God. What a guy.
But despite the fact that Sarah didn't really have any answers about my role on the team, we did have a good bonding moment. I cried. She said that it is good to see me broken. I said how many times to I have to be broken? Apparently it will be a lot. Every time God tears something out I think that that will be it. But it is most definitely not it. It sucks. But I guess I need to get a taste of my own medicine every now and again. Just today I told Beth that I am so glad that she is broken right now and that God is working in her. But the reason I am excited when I see others broken is that I know that something great will come out of it. So I guess I just need to listen to my own advice. It sucks taking your own advice.
I am excited for getting to know Sarah more on outreach though. I know that we will be able to lean on each other while we are there. I am sure that we will have many more talks like the one tonight where we just cry to each other and support each other. I know that she will become a good friend and I am so excited for that! She is so wise and I will need her encouragement and her friendship as I struggle through outreach.
After Sarah left, the girls of cottage 5 were wondering what I was crying about. Since we have no secrets here, I had to tell them. And I am glad they did, because they can see things about me that I can't. They can see why I am on this team and why my team needs me. And I guess that Dave has told me these things too, just not in girl language... Dave has said that I will be a rock and that I am a rock for this team. I didn't really understand how or why and whatnot, but the girls explained it well. Everyone will lean on me. And I guess it is kind of true. We have a lot of young ones on our team. Beth, Van and Hannah are all still teeny boppers and I can see them leaning on me. Out comes the Mother heart of God again. I just really don't want to be motherly. I don't know why, because mothers are so important, but I just don't want to be a mother. I want to be mothered. But alas, God always pushes you and forces you to grow in ways that challenge you. So I will be Steph the rock and mom. Bleh.
I can see Sarah and Leish leaning on me too in a way. Jacob will be there for my comic relief so that I don't get so stressed out by all of the craziness around me. And Dave will be my rock. It is so weird because he is only 19, but I look up to him so much. He is so strong and so stable and so wise. I will need him so much during outreach I think. Our team is a lot of emotional crazies who get swept up by the spirit and all of the crazy stuff going on, but Dave and I are the two that will be able to bring everyone back down to earth. I can see us just sitting together somewhere quietly and not talking, just being comfortable with each other, while everyone else is jumping around and crazy. I am excited to get to know Dave more too! I think we are very similar people. Well, I hope that because I want to be like him!
Anyways, got to go to bed because Carly will be jumping on my bright and early and dragging me to morning prayer so that I can fight it out with God!
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