Wednesday, 16 January 2013

January 14 2013

Today was the first day of clarity in my mind for quite some time. I have been bedridden. That makes me sound like an old cripple, but alas I am not. I am a healthy-able-bodied-person who gets stuck in bed with a migraine for days on end. Hmph. I hate ice cream. I am so mad at myself for ‘feeling bad’ for turning down an ice cream that the nurse ladies bought for me. I thought ‘Oh.. it won’t be too bad.’ Well, I was wrong. I had two days of a knotted stomach and explosions coming out of one end, and then two days of migraines. Not worth it at all. Remind me to never eat ice cream again.

So the last two/threeish days of my life have been blurred by drugs. Lots of drugs. I love drugs. Lots of ibuprophen and paracetemol. And then at the end of the first day of pain and suffering I realized that I have a secret stash of Tylenol 3’s from that time that my mom got her face cut open and decided that she didn’t need pain killers. Thank you mom for being tough and blessing me with codeine. After I uncovered my precious stash, life was good.

I somehow played uke for worship on Sunday at church with all of the blasting speakers and such, and then ran the kids games and bible study. I don’t know how that happened. But I went straight to bed after and slept ALLLLLLL DAYYYYYY. I took a small break from sleeping in the heat of the day because I was really hot. The hall that we are camped out in is SO STUFFY. Apparently it is dangerous to leave the windows open in Kaitaia because there are people lurkin’. So I was too scared to open the doors, but I opened all of the windows. There was no breeze outside and it was probs 30 degrees. I was sweating. I was an unattractive sweaty sickly woman who was afraid of light and sound. And it was really bright in the room so the only place that I could find refuge from the light is under my pillow. So I hate to choose between pain and heat. It was a difficult time. So I got annoyed with my useless attempt at sleeping and decided to finish the Lord of the Rings. I only had about a half of a chapter left of the first book, so I read it with one eye (because my right eye likes to stop working during times of migraine). It was fun.

I got all worked up with the intenseness of Frodo’s quest, and then the book ended, and I don’t have the next book. Ughhhhhhhh. Oh well. So I tried to go back to sleep. It was hot. And bright. And there were flies crawling all over my body. But I pretty much mastered the unconscious full body twitch to get bugs off every few seconds. No need to worry. And then I got really mad. And I made a fly trap out of an old bottle. I thought I was so clever. I filled it with juice and some extra sugar. But for some reason the flies still find me more appetizing. I even added nectarine pits. They still like me better. Boooo.

So today was the first day of the children’s holiday program. I woke up and drugged myself. Then I was loopy enough for the children, but I zoned out a LOT. And I had really pretty make-up. Similar to the make-up Sophie did for me the other night. Awe yeah. The morning was chaos, but the kids had fun! Wooo!

I had a bit of a mental break-down once we got back to our lovely abode at about 2 ish. I was just really overtired I think, maybe from my hot-sweaty-migraine-drug-induced-sleep for two days, and maybe coming down off of an ibuprofen high, and maybe a bit affected by my lady time, and I was a little on the edge after the morning of chaos, and I just wanted to talk to my mommy.  There were no computers available in the library, which only has 4 computers (WHY?). So I tried to find a land line to make a call using my phone card. The best I could do was find a pay phone. Pay phones suck. Why can’t you just pick it up and dial? It is SO COMPLICATED. After quite a few minutes I finally found out that the pay phone didn’t take my card. SO I tried to make a collect call. The directions on the phone were SO WRONG. I tried for like 15 minutes and finally just phoned the operator. And then my parents didn’t answer their phone. So I called the operator back and tried my mom’s cell phone which apparently doesn’t take collect calls. UGHHH. So I tried to pay with my credit card on the pay phone AND IT WOULDN’T TAKE MY CREDIT CARD. I was SO MAD. I started to cry.

I sat by myself and cried under a tree for a while. Then I found Dave and he let me use his cell phone to make a phone call to my parents. With my phone card, it only costs like 2 cents a minute or something to call Canada from a land line, but on a cell phone it costs 75 cents a minute. Unfortunately I only had 1 dollar left. Poooooooop. Dad answered, he sounded excited to hear my voice! That is a really spectacular response from my father. He is the strong, silent type. I told him I only have 1 minute, so got him to go on skype because Dave took pitty on me and let me use his MacBook. So finally I got to talk to my mommy on skype. It was good. Sometimes you just have to hear your mom’s voice.

I actually wasn’t missing home at all (except for the odd time here and there), until last week when I momentarily got to talk to my sister on skype. But the computer at the library was dumb and didn’t have a microphone for me to talk into, so I had to type. It was SO MUCH WORK. I think she enjoyed it because she just got to say whatever she wanted and I had to listen. But I was frustrated because I wanted to talk. It made me sad. And I realized that I have not seen her in SO LONG. And that realization made me really miss home a lot. And then I started to feel trapped by my DTS and got all claustrophobic, and then today when I couldn’t contact my family I freaked out. Man, I am ready to be done this DTS. I need my freedom back. And my fam jam. And my MacBook. And my Clyde. It’s been good, but outreach is getting a little bit long, and we have a lot of time to sit around and that isn’t good for me because then I think. Thinking is bad when you miss your family and they are on the other side of the planet. But there is only a couple weeks left. Praise Jesus.

This evening I got to continue my pitty fest because we went to see Les Miserable. Oh man. All I can say is that I am SO GLAD that I took my contacts out for the movie. It was amazingly good. But I cried like a baby. I was almost as bad as Hannah and Jacob. Embarrassing. But seriously, amazing movie. I will be buying the soundtrack, and maybe I will see it in theatres again. That’s how good it was. I think my favorite character is Ebony. She was such a hero. She broke my heart. And now my teary eyes are ready for sleep. DRUGGGGGGGGGGS.

 

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